She was a scared, lonely shell of a girl but no one could tell. She masked her emotions with a smile and built the walls around her up with sarcasm, loud music and fake confidence. She let her fears, regrets and anger consume her while she slowly slipped away.
All of her emotions were bottled up and pushed to the back of her mind.
She loathed herself and blamed everything on herself.
Maybe it was her lack of a mother. Or how she watched her parental figures, her grandparents, slowly die of a disease that crippled them and she didn't even realise it. But she knew, deep inside, nobody knew how she truly felt. But she was just another scared little girl that grew up way to fast. She realised that soon after her grandparents died people would gradually stop caring, stop cutting her slack for the bad mistakes she had made. but she knew she would have to grow up. put on a brave face, smile and say 'I'm fine.' locked in an oblivion of fears, worries and anger she couldn't control she craved the feeling of stability and sometimes even the simplest things like a hug from her mother. she knew, of course that would never happen. but overall she wished she could break free of the stress, anger, emotions and falseness that compressed her.
she is me. and I would rather die than live a life that was dictated by anger and emotion I had stored away. but then again, I would die instead of living a life that was controled by two people who didn't and don't know me. my step-mum and dad.
