Normal

Three

"What does she look like?"  Bree questions. Gripping my wrist as we manoeuvre between bodies. My mind is whirling, filled with so many possibilities of where she could be. Has something happened to her? Is she OK? Is she looking for me?

"She, uh she's got blonde hair and green eyes. Other then that exactly like me"  I force out through my ragged breaths which Bree either hasn't noticed or has chosen to ignore.

"So. Her?" Bree's hand leaves mine as she points towards a girl straddling a boy who looks our age and I discover that it is in fact Jeanie and she doesn't seem a bit worried. In fact she looks like she's enjoying herself.

And the thought send a pang through my chest.  "Ya" I force "that's her"
And I almost loose it. "I'm going to go, she looks like she'll be busy for a while"  of course I want Jeanie to be happy, and for her that means being normal but it still hurts that she isn't a bit worried.

"Wanna hit that ice cream shop up?"

Bree pulls me back. Showing me a set of slightly crooked teeth and a dimple. All I really want to do is go home. Change into a pair of sweatpants and eat ice cream. But some how she changes my mind with her cute little smile and hopeful eyes.

"Sure" I grin. Pushing Jeanie to the back of my mind and deciding to take her motto. Be normal. If only for one night.

"Great, so I can't drive because I've drank. You've had a bit of vodka as well so you can't. So I'll call my brother"

But maybe Jeanie was drunk. Maybe that's why she wasn't worried. But I'd rather her not care then her drunk because her being drunk could mean she gets hurt.

"sure" be normal. Forget about her for at least an hour. Don't worry about her. She'll be alright. This is what she wants.

"OK cool, you wait here I'm going to try and get some signal"

But what if. What if she is hurt. What if she becomes hurt. What if she goes looking for me and gets upset because she can't find me. What if she really doesn't care at all. Be normal Harlow. Forget about your weirdness for one night.

You can do this.

Bree comes back with a large grin on her face and slings her arm over my shoulders. Letting out a loud whoop she nudges me. "we're getting Ice Cream! I love Ice Cream"

And it hits me that she is in fact a little drunk. That she could infact forget me. And for once the thought doesn't bother me. The thought of being forgotten doesn't make me feel sick. I just want one night where I'm normal and can make friends and go get ice cream with a normal person. Jeanie hates ice cream. She never gets ice cream with me.

"Same!" I grin, poking her cheek before slipping from under her arm and dancing away.

"Let's go wait over here" I suggest. Plopping down on the pavement with a huff, lying on my back and staring up and the dark night sky. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be a star?" I ask, frowning as I tilt my head to find Bree lying beside me.

"Yes, but then I remember that it must be lonely up there. Looking down on all of us kind of like a movie. Don't you think? Yelling. Don't do that you dumb fuck! When we do something stupid. Or don't go in there! When there's a killer. They are the audience and we are the show" She crosses her arms over her chest and faces towards the sky again, a small smile on her face. " We must look like right idiots right now. Staring up there at them. Like a movie star staring at an audience, trying to figure out how they work, trying to figure out their exquisite beauty"

Deep. For once I don't wish Jeanie was here as she'd tell us to wise up and that they're just balls of gas. Nothing else to it.

"When you say it like that I feel bad for them, my life must be like one of those shitty boring documentaries about how to make doors. Not much interesting in this movie, well except tonight"

And I'm dead serious. Tonight, however short it's been so far has been the legit best night of my life and its only starting. I've made a friend. I've been normal for over five minutes. And I've met a beautiful person with a beautiful mind.

"I think the world will end in stars. That they'll all fall and that's how we'll die. They'll get sick of this shitty movie and click out, it'll have a dark beauty to it. Our last moments watching stars plummeting towards the earth. Its stupid but it'd be really cool" I state, finally looking back at the twinkling stars and wondering where on earth her brother is. My arse is numb and I'm cold all over but I'm happy. And I'm normal.