The Day She Died

AN: I probably won't continue it a lot unless I’m begged to. Sorry. But whatever. Enjoy :3

                CH:1

She just sat there, on her bed, cutting, popping, drinking, smoking, doing anything that could take her mind off of her fucked up, horrible life. Not caring if what she was doing eventually killed her, in her mind, that would be a bonus. Her mother, father, and only brother each taking turns slamming their fists on her door. Taking turns screaming. Taking turns telling her how useless, and worthless she was, and always would be. Her brother had it no better than her, but he chose to lash out on others, mainly his younger sister, only sister.

His friends were no different, each of them taking turns making her believe that they actually loved, and cared about her. When in reality, they were just using her, they got what they wanted from her, then just left her, telling her what she had already been told hundreds of thousands of times since birth. That she was worthless, nothing but a mistake, she didn’t matter, no one could ever love someone like her, etc.  After the first few, she realized they were just using her, she just didn’t care. She let herself fall into a deep black hole of despair. She let them, let everyone, just take advantage of her, but she let them believe they were fooling her. She knew that no one would ever love her, no one could, and she could never love someone back.  She already knew exactly how her story would end, no one would feel  sadness, no one would find it tragic, no one would remember her. She knew that. But she never expected, or even dreamed for it to be different, never expected her life to end the way it did. Never expected the feelings she had felt, the emotions of fear that coursed through her body. She always that she just wouldn’t care, it would be painless, just like everything else.

Then she met him. When they first met, she thought nothing of it. Thought of him as just another boy that would probably end up using her, but when he saw her, he saw someone beautiful. Someone perfect. He could tell she wasn’t normal, from the look in her eyes, so emotionless, like she was just a body, no soul or emotions were inside of it. Just a body that moved almost mechanically. Every class she had, she would wait for everyone to leave, grab her things, and leave, walking very slowly. It was as if she was a robot, and he wanted it to stop, he wanted to be the one to stop it. But every time he tried to get closer to her, not just physically, but mentally as well, he found it near impossible. She had locked away her feelings, they had been buried for years on end. She only saw him as another person to use her, then leave her. Just as everyone before him.

When he finally just asked her out on a date, she did say yes, but they both knew she thought nothing of it. It wasn’t special. But after the date, all he did was get out of the car, open her door, and hug her. She was confused as she started walking towards her front door, only to hear the driver’s side door of his car close. She had expected him to follow her, to use her, like normal. But he just waved goodbye, smiling, and had left. She knew then, at that moment, that she loved him, but she wouldn’t allow herself to believe it, accept it. The thought of loving someone scared her, because she knew that she wouldn’t be loved back, so why even consider those feelings as real? She refused to admit it to herself, it would be too much pain if she did. That night she had fallen asleep only thinking of him, holding the rose he had gave her at the beginning of their date. She kept that rose until the day she died.