Stray Kids Imagines

Voices (Bang Chan)

                Today was another of card giving day. It was finally time to know how well each student did well in their studies during the quarter. One of the days in which some dreaded and some just plainly don't care. But this was definitely the day that Y/N hated the most. Even with the constant reassurance that she did excellently well in her studies she somehow can't convince herself that she is doing well even the least. It bothered her the most and she constantly fell into depression because of it. She was very pessimistic and it didn't help her situation a bit. Her friend tried helping her by telling her how amazing she did but there was no stopping the negative thoughts from flood her mind that dives her crazy with every passing moment.

               She spent the night before sobbing oh-so quietly in her room releasing her tension of the day ahead. She always act like it was nothing to her but in reality she cared the most for what will be the result of her hard work. Her mom came to collect her card for her. They talked about what was currently happening in the school just to keep her updated. Though with uneasiness swimming at the pit of her stomach, she spoke with a smile. When her adviser called for her mom to talk with her about her report card just then did Y/N's heart plummeted it's beat making it harder for her to breathe. She expertly hid her shaking and cold hands under the table that she sat in front as she listens intently with what her mom and teacher were talking about (the room was so quiet she could hear the parents there breathing).

               It was all good. Just fine seeing that there were no negative reaction from her mom until,

               "She got all her subjects 90 and above except for two-" Her adviser said to her mom and she swore she felt how fast her heart dropped. She could also hear her adviser saying something about her behavior but she was too self-absorbed with thinking what went wrong to even hear more of the details making her mind run with more negative thoughts than what she had this morning. She tried desperately to not let her breathing to become erratic.

               After some minutes (that felt like hours in her opinion), her mom finally came back to where she was seated beforehand that was the chair beside her. She immediately asked for her card and saw her grade. What her adviser said was correct. She got all her subjects 90 and above except for history and values. She got 85 or so at those two. Her attitude. 

               "Your adviser said that you did well with your subjects. I'm happy especially when I saw that you got a high score on Math." Y/N almost gave a proud smile. Almost. "But you got a grade lower than 90. Next time work harder and get them higher, okay?" She felt once again being a big failure albeit her mom saying it in a way that there was no pressure. But she brought it upon her. 

               She looked at the second paper attached to her report card and saw her grading in her attitude which is her skills and values. All of them was stated that she only practiced those almost always. In her mind there was already someone who was already whispering to her,

               'Your attitude is bad. No wonder your grade got lower. You can never change' . Her mom asked her why she got only five in her skills and values but the only thing she could answer was-- "No one gets a perfect score in skill and values.", trying to convince herself more rather than her mom. At least she could deceive her mom with that alibi but no matter how she tries she can't convince the voice in her head.  

-o-

               By the time they arrived home, Y/N went straight to her room not even minding the rumbling complain her stomach was sending her. She didn't care if she was falling thin. She needed to improve. 'Not enough'  was what her mind chanted. She scattered her notebooks on top of her bed and began reviewing her notes. Tears fell from her eyes as she let the voices torment her and corrupt her mind.