I feel like I'm going insane
I literally just spent 10 minutes writing "I want to die," over and over again in my notes
I'm obsessed with her, and I hate that I am, and I honestly am trying to stop but I just fucking can't
Just the thought of her makes me go crazy
I just can't handle it
I'm an attention whore
I crave it
Especially from Her
And I constantly feel nowadays like she's ignoring me. I know she isn't, but I'm thinking catastrophically
I know but I can't help think that! I'm doing my best to just stop thinking, to focus on music, on a song, the notes, the fuckin lyrics, but I'm doing it on a subconscious level now!
I literally can't stop!
I know! I know! But I just can't help but think that
I'm fucking obsessed! And I'm so sorry I am
And I want to die, but I can't commit suicide because I promised her I wouldn't, and I could never do that to her, I can't bear the thought of putting her through that, but I want to!
For fucks sake, I almost cut myself the other day because I thought she was ignoring me all day! I was centimeters away, I couldn't stop, I had an uncontrollable urge to do it, if it wasn't for my friend, I'd think I'd be in a hospital right now
For fucks sake, I almost cut myself the other day because I thought she was ignoring me all day! I was centimeters away, I couldn't stop, I had an uncontrollable urge to do it, if it wasn't for my friend, I'd think I'd be in a hospital right now
I feel abandoned
I used to be able to go to Her for everything, but now, anything I say upsets her and I hate that I do that! I feel like I can't turn to anyone, I feel like I'm on nobody's mind, I feel dead to everyone so why not just be dead!
What the fuck is wrong with me
What's wrong with me
Guys, what's wrong with me
I'm so sorry
I'm lonely
I miss Her
I want to be with her, but she can't handle a relationship or even me just saying I love you, and I'm dying
I can't!
I don't know what's wrong with me
A couple days ago she said she didn't know if she still loved me!
I want to explode
I just can't
I can't anymore
I can't
In this case, it makes Her depressed and she blames everything on her self, and I HATE IT
SHE NEVER BLAMES ANYTHING ON me
I WANT HER TO
She never gets angry with me
I WANT HER TO
Part of me wants her to hate me because I hate me, there's so much to hate about me, but she doesn't see it, I want her to!
DOES SHE WANT TO STOP??
TELL ME NOW SO I CAN BREAK A BONE
MAYBE END UP IN A HOSPITAL
I WONT TELL HER, SHE'LL HEAR IT FROM SOME ONE ELSE
BUT HAS SHE? STOPPED LOVING ME?
Because it sounds like she WANTS to love but doesn't anymore
But has she? Stopped loving me?..
