A Moment of Fantasy

It is days like this that make me believe that fantasies are part of reality. God plot it far mystical in our own stories so people seem to think times like these only happen in movies. And the only way to reveal it is only when you believe it.

I'm leaning against his bended knees while we silently watch the movement of the clouds above the sea. Under this coconut tree, he recently protested whether this was a good idea once a coconut fall and hit him right over his head. I told him that would be fun, anyway. So he shot me a look of what-if-it-really-happens before finally leaning against the tree. It is as if the weather knew it is going to be my last day-our last day to hang out, the first time we had ever been alone together again after that fight.

It was the worst miscommunication we ever had. I think I already gave up then. I became tired of all the fights and misunderstandings.

A month before I was going to leave and college starts, he decided to stop the thing that was going on between us. He loves me, and I love him too, but he is not my boyfriend, neither is he courting me. We both know how we feel towards each other, yet we have bigger priorities other than having commitment. We always spend time together at school. My friends are okay with that. They've known our love story, and time had swept away before we knew how short are the days we have before parting time. He was dreadful, but we were positive that we can work it out. Cliché says distance doesn't matter-what's with all the gadgets around. After graduation we hadn't saw each other. And it's halfway to May until he barely had time to communicate - text or chat-with me.

I was okay with that. He is that man who always have planned schedule for tomorrow; church obligations, friend invites, other things-and I'm used with it (or I think I am). But I was afraid it just isn't that. I saw it coming, until one night, he texted me:

"Dear?" that's how we call each other.

"Yeah?" it had been five days since he texted.

"I have to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

"We have to end everything."

"Yeah?" I can't think of anything to say.

"I have been thinking about it for a few days. And I've been doing a lot lately. I think it would be better for us to... end this."

I want to get mad at him. Or ask him why. But more than that I was hurt. And by the way, what's he talking about? We're just friends anyway.

"Okay." I said.

Good thing we already had dinner. I can't break down in front of my parents.

"I'm sorry. You okay?"

With that, I rushed to my room. I'm afraid a tear would fall unconsciously. Still, I'm not going to cry.

"Yeah. It's okay."

"I'm sorry. It's just that we have bigger priorities. And I think this is what is better for us."

Really?

"No worries. I think I was just waiting for you to say that. After quite some time of not texting me."

"That's my point. I don't want you to think I'm not giving you time. It's just that I'm busy."

"I told you so many times that I'm used with you doing so much things. I don't know if you're right telling me this is what is best for us. But if that's what you want, okay."