Never Say Goodbye

Chapter 8

 My eyes are still open. I try to open my mouth, but it won't open. I can't move my legs or my arms or anything. Is this what it's like to die? Is this what it's like to cease to live?

Contrary to my old beliefs, I'm not in Heaven or Hell. I am just laying on a bed, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to do anything. I can only hear and think. "Nononononononononononono..." Caleb repeatedly murmurs. "No. Don't die on me..."

Get the nurse. Just get the nurse. I think. As if hearing my thoughts, he says, "I'll get the nurse." I try to nod, but I can't. He runs out of the room. I sit for five minutes in silence.

Caleb bounds through the door, closely followed by a nurse. "Oh, my," she says. "Oh, my. She is paralyzed. This is oh so very unlikely. One in a million people just get paralyzed like that." She snaps her fingers. "I was just going to tell her some terrible news, too."

"What news?" Caleb asks.

"It's terrible. It really is. Her father just passed away."

"Oh. Oh, no."

"I'm afraid so." A rock sinks in my stomach. My father: dead. I cry in my mind, but I can't produce tears because apparently I am paralyzed. How did I even get paralyzed? How do I have this particular life? How am I so unlucky? How?

"I will have to get a doctor," the nurse says. "Stay with her. She can hear, but she cannot move." Caleb nods.

"Emma. Can you hear me?" I try to give a sign that yes, I can hear him, but I can't give any sign, not even a groan. He turns away. "Okay. I will talk to you from over here; I can't bear to look at you. Okay. So, okay. I am here for you, no matter what. Oh, you must've heard about your father. I'm sorry, Emma. I truly am. And when you get better, I will be by your side no matter what! I will always love you! Always. That's a promise." A nurse bounds through the door with a doctor close behind her. I groan.

"She is already showing signs of improvement. She groaned," the doctor explained. Caleb runs over to me. My mouth slightly twitches, not enough to be a full smile, but enough to be slightly noticeable. Caleb smiles. "Out of my way," the doctor says rather rudely.

"You don't have to be so me-" Caleb stops mid-sentence as his eyes catch the doctor's. "Dr. McFaulin,"Caleb says as he looks the doctor up and down.

"Caleb Hayes," the doctor says. "You're here. Again."

"Yes I am."

"Why, may I ask?" the doctor, apparently Dr. McFaulin, asks.

"Well, a) it's none of your business, and b) my girlfriend is paralyzed."

"Good for her," Dr. McFaulin says sarcastically.

"Just please help her." Caleb sounds irritated.

"No."

"Why not?" Caleb shouts. I can see anger flickering beneath his eyes, a candle just lit.

"Because of what you did to me!"

"That was me, not her!" Caleb says, pointing to me. "And I was six!"

"You were incompetent!"

"I was six! And you weren't successfully conducting that surgery!" Caleb insists.

"You contradicted me!"

"You were wrong! You could have killed that man if it weren't for me!"

"I killed him because of you!" Dr. McFaulin cries.

"Let's just set this aside to help my girlfriend."

"No! Do I have to spell it out? N.O!"

"You are going to kill this girl just to prove a point? You are just like your father!" Caleb says.

"Don't play that card on me!"

"It's true! You'd kill a girl just to prove you are better! Well guess what? No one in their right mind would kill someone just to prove a point!"

"Well I'm not in my right mind, then!" Dr. McFaulin yells.

"No! Of course you aren't! Because you're a McFaulin!" Caleb storms out of the room, clearly upset, and slams the door.

The nurse and Dr. McFaulin are talking. Every so often, I hear, "She's just a girl!... She didn't even do anything to you!... Just help her." She gestures to me. Dr. McFaulin sulks over to me.

"I will help you, but make note. I will never, I repeat never help your "boyfriend"!" I try to say that if he needs help, Dr. McFaulin should help him, but I can't. "Okay, girl," he says rudely after examining me, "I cannot fix you. The paralysis should subside in approximately 24 hours. It's probably just psychosomatic, meaning stress is causing it. Just live with it." He rolls his eyes and storms out of the room, cursing under his breath. I think, What a stupid, selfish—

"I am very sorry," the nurse says. "Very, very sorry. I truly am. He usually doesn't hold grudges like this. I am very sorry." I groan slightly. I can move my body a centimeter, but that is about it.

"It's okay," I mumble almost inaudibly.

"Okay," she says. "Thank you." She smiles. "I'll leave you alone then."

"Thank you," I mumble again at the same volume. She smiles again.

"I hope you get better soon," the nurse whispers on the way out. I am alone again. This isolation only lasts a second because Caleb strides confidently into the room.

"Are you okay? Did he fix you? Oh, please tell me he fixed you! Please!" He starts crying.

"No," I mutter. "Only a day." He nods, tears still streaming down his face.

"You're okay, though, right?"

I nod slightly, just about half a centimeter. "Oh! Thank God!" Caleb says. "I love you so much! I love you! Don't die!"

"I will," I mumble.

"No you won't! You won't die! You can't die!" He starts sobbing. I don't want to hurt him, but I do nevertheless. I hate hurting him. I can't let him just waltz into my battle. This is my battle, not his. I'm going to fight it, not him.

I picture him above my casket at my funeral. Tears run down his cheeks. I can not hurt him. I can not hurt him. I can not hurt him!

I realize what that means. If I don't love him, I can't hurt him.

The only problem is... I can't stop loving him.