Never Say Goodbye

Chapter 13

 I wake up on the beach with warm, sun-drenched sand beneath me. I slowly breathe in. My lungs still ache, but it feels good to breathe again.

"Caleb?" I wheeze. He rushes to my side.

"Emma?" Caleb answers. His hair is wet and tousled. I am suddenly struck by how handsome he is. I smile.

"Caleb."

He smiles at me.

"You okay?" he asks. I nod. "You almost drowned. Are you sure you're okay? How did you even hold your breath that long?"

"I-I don't know. I just had to live. How long did I hold my breath for?"

"I don't know. About five minutes maybe?" he estimates.

"Five minutes? I've never held my breath that long. I used to be on my high school swim team, though. I thought you left me, so I just started breathing to speed up the process of drowning."

"You thought I left you? I would never just leave you like that."

"What were you doing then?"

"Well I went to the surface to ask some of the men for a pocket knife to cut you free. One of them gave me his. So I came down, and I saw that your eyes were closed, and that you were struggling to hold your breath under water, so I hurriedly cut you free and carried you to the surface and then to the beach."

"Thank you," I answer. He saved me. Again. I'm starting to lose track of how many times he's saved me. I just want a chance to save him, though I don't think that will ever occur. I sigh. "You could've just left me there to die, you know. I would have understood. I was expecting death. I was expecting not to survive. I was expecting never to wake up. It would have just been easier for you not to save me. Swim to safety on the beach. Forget about me. Live your life without me."

"I could never forgive myself. I could never forget you. I could never live without you. That would be like living without water: impossible."

"No. You can live only about three to four days without water, but with me, you can live-"

"No days. You're right. I can't live any days without you. Even if I didn't love you, which I do, the guilt would still be eating me alive."

"Well, you're going to have to find a way to live without me because I will die; that's a fact. And I don't want you to stop your life when I do die. When I die, live your life. Forget about me. Forget everything I did, everything we did. Please promise," I plead.

"No. I can't promise that. That promise is like promising to forget my family. I can't do it. Even if I am promised a million dollar reward, I can't do it. I can't forget my family, nor can I forget you." He looks deep into my eyes like he's looking for something. I can't believe I mean that much to him. I am not worth being like family to him. I thought he knew that, but apparently he doesn't. I just shake my head and look down. My wet clothes are stuck to my body. He doesn't get it.

"No. You just don't get it, do you? You don't know what it's like."

He leans in close to me. "You're right. I don't get it. But I get that I love you. And if you don't understand that, then what's the point?"

"I'm trying. I'm really trying. But I'm failing. I'm failing."

"Well, try harder," he says. I can hear in his voice that he is getting pretty upset.

"I'm sorry. Caleb, I'm really sorry. You have to understand that I am trying. Okay?"

"Okay."