Endless

35 Days Before

35 DAYS BEFORE

I wake to the smell of pancakes cooking and i feel like i'm going to puke, as i dread opening my eyes to the awful crowded room in the facility. I groan as i hear the door open and the pitter patter of little feet. I furrow my eyebrows.

Little feet i think to myself confused.

I feel my bed dip by my feet and something or someone climb up the length of my body.

I smile to myself as i remember where i am and who it is that is waking me up. I'm lying on my side, so he straddles my body close to my shoulders before leaning over and whispering in my ear.

"P, mama made pancakes." he moves my hair away from my face and whispers again, "P are you awake?" he places a soft kiss on my neck and i open one eye and peer up at him to see a grin break out full force across his face.

He places his hands on my shoulders before he starts bouncing ontop of me while giggling and talking very loudly.

* * *

A smile is genuinely gracing my face as i hear Noah's voice and giggles filter out from Peyton's room.

"P, wake up mama made pancakes," "Mama makes the best pancakes.""Get up P!" "Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!" After yesterday his voice is just so warming, being a mother is more than i could ever have asked for and I love every minute of it; I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

I hear feet walk into the living room behind me, i turn to watch Noah and Peyton walk into the room. Peyton is in one of my old NYPD shirts and some boxers that absolutely swim on her; but she already looks better. Her legs are still thin but not so boney, her cheeks are a little less sunken. It's going to be a long road but she is getting there. I turn back to the pancakes on the stove when i all of a sudden feel little hands wrap around my legs and a small body lean against them from behind.

"I love you mama," Noah says as he places kisses on the back of my thighs. I reach around and ruffle his hair, "love you too buddy."

"Morning Liv," Peyton says a lot of cheer in her tone.

"Morning Peyton, you sleep well?"

"Yeah i did, except when the smell of pancakes made me think i was still in the facility this morning." she says a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

I hesitate for a moment, I'm sure i currently show a shocked expression, "is pancakes not okay for you?" i say worried.

* * *

"No, no Liv it's fine, that's not what i meant," i immediately feel bad. She is just trying to help and i make her feel awful about her choice of breakfast.

"Are you sure?" sincerity and compassion showing in every inch of her face.

"yeah i'm sure, besides Noah said you make the best pancakes." I look down to see Noah nod against his mother's legs, as he continues to hug them.

"Yup yup, mama makes the best." he says in a cute, innocent tone, "i have the best mama. Best mama equals best pancakes." God he loves her.

I watch Liv finish making the pancakes, she grabs a plastic plate with Minions on for Noah and places two pancakes with syrup and chocolate chips on it. He grins as he grabs the plate and walks carefully into the living room, making sure he doesn't spill them.

"Mama, can I watch cartoons?" he asks as he walks, never taking his eyes of his pancakes. I can't help but giggle.

"Yes Noah you can watch cartoons," he smiles and Liv places a single plain pancake in front of me, with a banana on the side. I sit on a stool at the kitchen bench as Liv leans on the bench opposite me with her plate filled with three pancakes.