Having The Alphas' Baby

26: Sickly

-edited-

Veronica POV:

Xavier keeps trying to speak to me, but the part of me that I feel like this has changed us forever. Something keeps telling me to not engage, and let him go. But I still die for his comfort and attention, splitting my self between two emotions that are just so different.

He's pretty much ignored his duty in order to comfort me, despite the many times I tell him to get to work. I was ok before, and I'm ok now. Maybe if I keep telling my self that he'll finally believe me. But he's a stubborn one, and sees through all my lies.

It's weird. Now that I'm awake again, I want to eat but I can't muster an appetite. I don't know what I want to eat, if I can even stomach it. I don't want to try and eat and just to throw it all up again. It would just be pointless.

I lay in bed, my back facing Xavier, hoping soon enough he'll give up and do his work before it piles up again. But apparently I'm not expressing how much I don't want him to be here, but I don't want to yell either, he would look wounded and I'd fell guilty.

"What do you want for dinner?" I'm asked, slightly rolling to look over my shoulder.

"It doesn't matter."

"Can you stop blowing me off? You act as if I love you any less and I know you know it's not true. So why be so distant? We are in the same bed, but you're acting like we're miles away or something."

I said nothing and his voice alone makes me want to wrap my arms around him and just let me hold him so he knows my love is still there for him. But a part of me wants to shut down and ignore him until he goes away.

"You don't understand how awful this is." I utter.

"We have 6 months, at the least to figure something out."

I roll over to look at him. "See you don't get it. There's nothing to figure out, no loopholes, no outs. I have to live with the past seven years, and now I'll have to deal with a demonic child for the rest of life. You should hold no part in this." I don't face him any more. With my back facing him and my head in my pillow. "Maybe Feronda was right, I should leave and move somewhere remote. Where he can't set cities on fires and kill people for fun."

"You're not going anywhere." I feel Xavier roll me over. His serious eyes eating away at my uncertain ones. "You're not going anywhere." He repeated, but softer this time. "You have something in your head telling you you're alone, but you're not. I'm telling you you're not. I need you to listen to me." His voice was pleading, but he was telling the truth.

I don't anything. I just move closer to him. My arms wrap around him as I put my head on his pillow. He lifts me up as he gets comfortable and I lay my head on his chest. His heart beat is calming, submissive even. A power beyond what my understanding, in just his heartbeat.

If stupid fourteen year old me and Lucy didn't just stay away from each other just for that one night, I wouldn't have cursed my future. Lucy wouldn't be trapped in an unknown void between life and death as her body is shared with a demon. Who knows, maybe she could have had a mate of her own.

Maybe Xavier does understand this, on some level. Maybe he can help and not die too.

Or maybe I can be drawing him to his death. Maybe I could be holding to back from his responsibilities I don't understand anymore. There are so many things but he can do with out me. What if I just left baby I hold onto the island girl if you disappeared I'm not holding the love of my life's baby in my arms, right now. I'm only moving myself.

"Xavier, I love you I really do. What if I'm only making your life harder?" I said Xavier, reluctantly and quietly. "I know you might get annoyed with the words I'm saying well you should hear me out. I released a demon and you still want to be here, no sane person would still stick around. And I know it's sometimes of mating bond but what if we didn't have it. Would you still be here?"

"Honest answer?" He said a bit softer tan before. "Without this bond I would've never given you a second look."

I try to look at him but he wouldn't look at me almost as if he was ashamed of what he admitted. "Now you see my point," I said quietly turn away from him, "this would have never been a problem so why are you making it your problem now?"

"Because I did end up giving you a second look, and like a weirdo I still followed you into your school. I put in time and effort to do it for you to notice me from that moment all of your problems willing became mine. Including this one."

I was moved by what he said I didn't want to be sad anymore. But for some reason only the part of me wanted to let him, other part wanted to with hold everything else.  "Stalker." I laugh.

"Since you're feeling a little bit battery we are going to go to Vancouver on a jet. I know this doesn't seem like a perfect time for this also has to do with my alpha work. And Luna you're required to be there. You won't have to do much just do what you always do when you're acting shy, and stand there and be pretty." He bent down to peck my nose.

"So we are going out of town?" I didn't know what to think. "For how long?"

As I look up at Xavier to see his expression before he answers I noticed that he put his eyebrows a little closer to gather them some. "We'd be gone for three days at the Max." I couldn't tell if he was lying or not. As I moved my headI raised my eyes brows for the truth. "Fine we'll be gone for 3 days at the minimum."

"But why?"

"Alpha business. The pack will be fine, Oscar will be left in charge-"

"And you think because if that the pack is going to be ok?"

"This isn't like the time where I told him to watch the baby chickens."

"No, the idea is the fact that you left him in charge."

"They lived though."

"For a day! We all got F's."

"The pack and arena baby chicks, he won't manage to kill them, if I thought that I wouldn't leave."

"Ok." I say softly.

"Good, now start packing."