Sinners and Saints

Reflection... prt 1

We sat on the couch in Fp's trailer, silent and unsure, It felt like my world was falling apart and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Betty wasn't answering my calls and Fp... well let's just say we were at a disagreement. I started thinking about high school, about what would of happened if I had stayed. If I hadn't ran away. Would it be the same, or would my life be completely different? I remember the corridors and the stairwells like it was yesterday. The smell of cigarettes and and none pure intentions in the air, the feeling I got when I walked passed him and caught his eye.
I remember it all. All of it, but one night... the night I regret most, it's always stuck in my head.

We were sat on the field underneath the blossom tree, with the sun shining down on our faces. I remember getting in an argument with Fred about how much gel he puts in his hair... it was dumb now I think about it, but he knew I was joking. At least I hope he did. Jones was sat up against the base of the tree with his legs out and one bent at the knee, allowing me to lay comfortably on them. We had never made it official between us, I just remember how much crap we got that summer, of Fred and Hermione... even off Penelope. His hand was holding mine, playing with the ring he had given me that morning. I had sat up to take off my serpent jacket when I saw him, Hal... I remember his anger and frustration when he saw me laying beside him. He ran over and without saying a word grabbed my wrist and pulled me up off of Fp's lap. "Hal? Hal, let go of me!" I yelled at the top of my lungs slowing everyone to turn and realise what was happening. Before I could stop him, Fp had ran up after me and pulled me away from him, pushing me behind him for safety "Who do you think you are? Taking my girl." Hal said furiously and without remorse. He let out a grin at his comment before clenching his wrist and swinging it towards his jaw, flinging him to the floor in pain. "Leave her alone, or next time I break your arm!" He wrapped his arm around my waist tugging me towards him as we walked back to the tree.

After class, I had messaged Fp to say I would be late to the Whyte Wyrm as I had to stay for class. He replied abruptly saying *okay babe, hurry. I miss you already!* I let out a giggle and a small smile before I felt a hand pull me into the corridor and force me up against the wall. "What was that, before with- with him!" Hal stared at me with an alluring feeling of annoyance surrounding him. "Look, nothing is going on with me a Jones I promise!" He stared at me slowly tightening his hand around my wrist and then placing his other one around my neck. "If I ever see you with him again, I will end you." He said before smiling and walking away leaving me a mess on the floor. At that moment I stood up and ran to my car, unsure of what to do. Unsure of everything. I drove home my eyes still flooded with tears. I sat there, outside my home, for maybe an out or two ignoring everything, then finally I clicked and saw Fp's number on my phone. "Hey babe, where are you?"
"I... I don't"
"Alice? Talk to me... please"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I said before hanging up the phone and running inside. I ran up to my room and lay, staring at my ceiling for a short while before my brain clicked. I grabbed the pan and paper from in my dresser and began to write... * I'm sorry, whoever finds this I'm sorry. I can't do it anymore, I'm so tired of fighting when I don't have anything to really be fighting for. Mom, Dad, I love you. Fred and Hermione, everyone at school I know I may seem like a bitch but I love you all so much! And Fp... your my everything and I'm sorry that I'm doing this, but please don't forget me.*
I placed the note on my bed along side the ring Fp had given me earlier and began to walk to the bathroom. I grabbed the glass of water from the counter and pills from my bag and then silence.