She smiles a teary eyed smile as I grasp her young, perfect hand in mine. She doesn't want me to see her crying so she hides her beautiful face behind her messy, blonde hair. I ask her how chorus is going, she knows that I love hearing her sing. She has a voice that brings me such joy, I could burst into tears in seconds, she is wonderful. I tell her how special she is to me and that I love her. After a few moments of small talk and catching up, she gets off my bed and sits down in my favorite, old, mauve chair and asks me to tell her some of my favorite memories. I think for a moment, and then I know exactly what she needs to hear.
He watches as his daughter and grandma hold their tiny hands and enjoy each others' presence. His grandma has always adored Lexi, since the day she was born. Her middle name is after his grandma's first name, Jean. This may be the last time that they get to see grams, she is getting older now. She looks at them as Lexi sits at her bedside in her old mauve chair, and he in the dark wooden seat. His daughter asks her to tell some of her favorite memories and his grandma hesitates for a moment and then a big smile is put upon her face.
I hold your dainty, wrinkled hand tightly, yet gently in mine. I do not want to relinquish your grasp, I wish I could stay in this moment forever. Seeing you smile will always be my favorite image. I sit on the edge of your white, cotton bed and we catch up and talk about choir and Elvis. We both love the song "American Trilogy", by Elvis and we begin humming along as I play it from my phone. I then move off of the bed and I sit at your bedside in the well kept mauve chair, that you have had since the beginning of time.I scoot the chair closer to your bedside and grab your sweet hand once more. I ask you to tell me some of your favorite memories or stories. After a moment, you begin to smile. I know that this will be good.
I begin telling the stories that I haven't spoken to many about, my husband, Dale. He would have loved to meet my wonderful, Lexi. Thinking of the beautiful memories with him
brings tears to my eyes, he was so dear to my heart. I rub my pale hand gently on my chest, it reminds me of his comforting touch. I close my eyes and begin telling her about the time Dale and I went to Hawaii, it all feels so real. I am sitting in a small rusty, yellow, chair on the long, sunny beach, rubbing my feet against the exfoliating, black sand. I look ahead and I see my handsome Dale, his dark hair is wet from the salty blue water. Beaming at me, he turns and runs for the water before him. I get out of my chair and dash towards him and he spins me around in the shallow, cool water. I felt so free when I was with him. Reality hits, and the memory is gone. I feel a warm tear slither down my wrinkled face. Lexi tightens her grip on my hand firmly yet gently, in a very coaxing way. She is my gal.
His grandma begins telling the many intriguing stories about his grandpa, Dale, who had tragically passed away in 1986 when he was 13. He and his grandma became very close after they lost him to cancer. He had always felt that his grandma, who he called grams, had her own special place in his heart. He listens to his grandma's soft spoken voice tell his daughter about the time that they owned a bakery and made their own pies. People from all over the little town would come to "Wilson Bakery" in hopes to get some of their scrumptious, moist, chocolate-peanut butter pie. As he listens to this story, he can smell the freshly baked pie in the air and he can feel the warmth sliding down his throat. Indulged in the story,a smile crosses his lips. As grams continued her heart warming stories, a thin layer of glossiness covers her eyes and ever so slowly, a few tears wet her cheeks.
My ears perk up as you begin pouring out some of your favorite memories with my great grandpa who had sadly passed just thirty years ago. Your soft and steady voice begins, "The whole family had just gotten to Anna Maria Island." As you continue, I imagine myself there on the bright, sandy beach. Great grandpa is playing with the grandkids who are small now, and you and grandma are braiding Missy's hair. I look back at you as you finish telling the story, your dull blue eyes turn into a vibrant aqua sea and become glossy. I then squeeze your hand tighter as if to comfort you.
I peer out the window of my little room and see the pink, fully blossomed flowers hanging on a black hook right beside my tiny bird feeder. Across the sidewalk a family of geese are swimming happily in the little green pond. I am reminded of the times that I could walk around the entire loop and feed the geese with Lexi. My, how she has grown into a beautiful young lady. Her eyes sparkle like emeralds, her tan skin like peanut butter. Her eyes sadden as she realizes it is time for her to go back home now. "I'll see you at Christmas." I tell her, trying to ease her pain. She knows. I know. I hold her body close to mine and hold her in a tight embrace. She quietly sobs on my shoulder and I do the same on hers. These moments that we have together are precious and unforgettable. The cool, early december air brings chills to my body every time my door is opened by my loved ones. I am tired and my body is weak. I cannot hold on much longer. I am alone, resting in my room and I hear a gentle knock at my door. As it is gently pushed open, my handsome Dale walks in. He grabs my hand and I feel safe. I take my last breath on Earth and follow him to an eternity of peace.
He reaches his large, cracked hand and holds her tiny, fragile hand in his. "I'm going to miss you Grams.", he says to her. She pulls him close to the left side of her bed and rubs his back. "I love you. I have lived a good life," she whispers. His face begins to tighten and his eyes are stinging as tears begin to form. He avoids eye contact with his grandma because he doesn't want her to see him hurt. He sits back up after wiping his eyes and tells his grandma his favorite moments that he has spent with her. Joyous laughter fills the room, the sorrow that had once plagued it wafting away for a brief moment, allowing them to pretend it had never even existed. Another short hour passes by in just a minute, time can do so much. He and his daughter have to go home now. He hugs and kisses Grams goodbye and tells her that they will see her again in a couple of months at Christmas time. He watches his daughter burst into tears again as she has to leave her great grandma's side. His heart drops and for a moment he considers missing his flight to spend more time together. They head home with sadness in their hearts. As December begins, their happiness is brought to a halt. He had gotten a call just after supper, his grandma had gone to be with his grandpa. He begins to think, how wonderful life was while she was in the world. She is at peace and that comforts him. But he will always have a yearning desire to spend more time with her.
The many hours that I have spent with you, pass by in what feels like only a moment. It's time for me to go now, I will see you again when the snow is a blanket to the grass at Christmas time. My heart aches, I am not ready to leave your side. Tears sting my eyes, and I roll them quickly to try holding back the flood. It is no use, I give you one final hug, a long and necessary one, I drown your shoulder in my never-ending stream of tears. Feeling your embrace is a comfort that I have always longed for. I give you a smile, holding in my sobs that I didn't want you to hear. "I love you," I told you. "I love you too. I'll see you at Christmas," you replied. I followed my dad out of your room. I felt as if I were a boulder being dragged by a weak toddler. The next few months would be unbearable without seeing your sweet face. I was not prepared. I made sure to call you every other day for quite a while. On a cold and grey December night, you left me. My heart felt as though it were missing a piece. I was missing a peace that I would never fully have back again. And now, I feel alone. I am sad. I replay your words, your voice, and any memory I had with you in my head, constantly. I long for one more moment with you.
