The Rise of the Phoenixes: On Broken Wing

Feng Zhiwei's Suicidal Slip up

Drifting snow melted on Feng Zhiwei's cheeks as she gracefully climbed to her death. Outer calm sheltered inner despair. With every loss, she had grown weaker.

Her brother's murderous lover, Luoling, had been correct. It was too late for Feng Zhiwei. She lost what she valued most. Zhiwei never had the same goals as Ning Yi, now Emperor of Tiansheng.

Ning Yi had overcome his enemies and won the throne. In contrast, Feng Zhiwei had started from a place of strength and lost what she valued. She could no longer endure the repeated sacrifices on her behalf.

Ning Yi did not understand. He was unaware of her current hopelessness. Feng Zhiwei had little doubt he would have had her guarded night and day if he realized her final scheme.

But he did not know. Ning Yi assumed they were to become man and wife. He would be the emperor and she would be his empress. This would never be, Zhiwei thought.

A new wave of despondency crashed onto her soul. Zhiwei neared the cliff. She looked forward to surrendering to death. The continual flashbacks from the demise of those around her haunted her daily.

This is why she could not push on. The past, present, and future promised to be the same. Death and destruction in pursuit of a crown.

Could Ning Yi promise his political enemies would not one day seek to kill her or their future children? Or worse, would possible future children continue to murder each other for a chance at the power Ning Yi now had?

Also, being a part of the imperial harem did not promise good things. It would be humiliating. It could be dangerous even as the head of the imperial harem.

The air was getting thinner. Her thoughts were turning grimmer. Feng Zhiwei paused. Before her impending free fall, she played the little instrument she had brought. It was a farewell song that brought brief comfort and the final courage she needed.

What Zhiwe did not realize was the sweet music also signaled her location. There were hunters nearby. Curiosity drew them to her.

Feng Zhiwei was so lost in internal grief she was unaware of anyone approaching.

At first, the small band of hunters observed her through the trees. Then they realized her intent. They were quick to take action to save the noble lady.

As Feng Zhiwei closed her eyes, she began a quick pace backward. She intended to hop backward off the mountain. The hunters sprang forward and caught her in time.

She lost a shoe, several hair ornaments, and her composure. The impromptu rescue was not smooth. Somehow Feng Zhiwei broke her leg.

One of the hunters latched onto her leg. She fell hard on the rocky ground. Her head was spinning. Impact grogginess turned into acute leg pain.

"Ouch, sirs, please let me go. This is something I must do," Zhiwei then sniffled in emotional distress. These well-meaning men thwarted her suicide!

"Lady, we cannot in allow you to do this. Your family will feel grief. This is a great dishonor to yourself and your loved ones. You will pass your pain to others." The speaker looked like their leader.

"My family is dead. They are all gone." Zhiwei said, as she tried to get up.

"Please, you have an important background with finery, noble lady. Someone cares for you. They will miss you," a fur-cloaked hunter added.

Depressed people have a hard time seeing beyond their pain. Feng Zhiwei did not want to acknowledge the hunter's words. A whisp of guilt for her living loved ones pieced her. The new guilt did not compete to the old guilt she felt for her deceased loved ones though.

Feng Zhiwei forced aside her dark depression to deal with these well-meaning men. Out of necessity, her keen mind began to focus. The immediate aim became remaining out of Ning Yi's reach. His new life represented everything she could no longer tolerate.

He may already have her suicide letter. No doubt people had seen her walk up towards the mountains today. Her rich clothing would have attracted attention. Villagers at the base of the mountain had seen her.

A search party would investigate. Ning Yi would search for her dead body. He was thorough this way.

Feng Zhiwei sat on the hard ground and let tears flow at her predicament. Then she had an idea. She could not leap off the mountain cliff today with an audience.

"Please, help me. I cannot walk. I have an injured leg," she said.

The men helped her lean onto one of them as they gathered her out of the snow. Her fine clothes stood out against the mountain forest.

"Let us alert your friends if you have no family," offered one hunter.

"You are right. I am a foolish girl. My grief has made me act impulsively. Please bring me down the mountain and I will make arrangements to go home."

The hunters complied. Feng Zhiwei rewarded them with a few of her costly hair ornaments and told them a false name and household. They helped her find a hired carriage.

Feng Zhiwei sat in the carriage and felt one very strong emotion--fear. This new emotion pushed her out of her misery. She was very afraid of what would happen when Ning Yi discovered her alive.

Ning Yi did not give up. He would likely find her one day but life in his harem was unthinkable. As long as he knew she was alive, Feng Zhiwei doubted Ning Yi would lose complete interest in her.

She had to think of a plan to distance herself from politics. She could not take part in palace affairs anymore. She needed a new life to heal from her old life.

At the moment, another suicide attempt was not tempting. This would solve her heartache but the hunters were right. Her pain would pass to others after her death.

All the lives lost on Zhiwei's account were worth more than a dive off of a cliff. She couldn't keep focusing on her pain. It was a selfish way to live and die.

A sudden drive to be worthy of the sacrifices made on her behalf arose. What she needed was to crawl out of her sadness she decided. It was time to find a different focus other than on her anguish.

The intense ache of a broken leg made death less desirable. Feng Zhiwei winced at her state. She did not realize how far she had fallen until it was almost too late. She directed the hired carriage to find a doctor at the edge of the capital.

She needed time to mend. She needed space. She needed to leave the capital soon. Ning Yi would be looking for her. She could not face him yet.