Thing is i'm trying really hard. You have no idea, but i keep trying. I keep trying to smile when i listen to this song, I keep trying to think about the good old times, about that day you kissed me on the forehead on my birthday party, or that one you helped me find frogs in the backyard of our holidays house, even the few times we went skating together. Our last week skateboarding as fast as possible one behind the other keeps popping up as well. And as much as i wish these memories could make me smile, my eyes get all red and spiky inside. I want you back. I wanna see you laugh again. I wanna see you cuddle my cat. I even wanna see you cry. Thing is I'm willing to do so much to see you live, and able to do so little. You were such a beautiful young boy. Such a kind hearted tiny human. And I know you had to carry too much pain to keep living the way we all do. Cause you refused to be full of shit the way we all are. And you embraced your suffering the way we all wish we could. But you drowned, and right now you're the only one who's able to fight to come back up and breathe once and for all. Thing is I try so hard to be happy with all the memories I have, but each time i remember those memories are part of the weight that drags you down. And you'll be okay, they say.
