Shrinking Violet

Entry #15

Dear 방탄소년단,

I mean I tried loving myself
I really tried
If I tell people that "I love myself and that I accept what I am"
I'd probably lying, no scratch that I'd be lying
Not just to the people but especially to myself.
No matter how much I try to accept and love myself
Right now I just can't.
I still hate the every being of me.
My demons are just screaming louder and louder
Thank you for existing
Thank you, because of my demons are at peace
Especially when I listen to your music
And when I see all of you
You keep my mind at peace
And help me forget that my reality is just full of insecurities and hatred towards myself and to the world.
I'm sorry if I can't genuinely love myself right now.
Cause truth be told I just fucking hate myself to the core.
But for now thank you for existing
Thank you for silencing my demons when they're loud.
Maybe someday I'd learn to accept myself just like y'all.

Sincerely,
A fan