I really want to know why some lives are so perfect at one moment with everyone happy and smiling and laughing and then everyone is yelling at each other and fighting and arguing. I want to know why my family is like that. They're constantly going at it and it drives me crazy.....
Let me back up a bit for you. A few years ago, my little 11 year old sister was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma(Ah-stea-O-sar-coma); childhood bone cancer. Needless to say, my life was turned upside down when my mom sat my brothers and me down after talking to our doctor on the phone and told us her, Nicole (my sister) and my dad where going up to Seattle to see if the tumour in her left thigh bone was cancerous or not. That was Tuesday. They left the next day and by Thursday night, they had the results. My siblings and me found out from my aunt who was there with us that the tumour was in fact cancerous. That was Thursday, January 25 of 2011. Nicole and my mom offically left the house to live at the Ronald McDonald House in Seattle and she started treatment at Seattle Children's Hospital the first week of February. By the time my birthday rolled around on the 22nd, she had started her third treatment of chemotherapy and I was already missing my sister.
Now, me and Nicole have never been the closest of sisters. We've bickered, faught, and argued. Though we've always somehow managed to make up sooner or later. But sometime between the nine months spent in Seattle with my mom while I was stuck at home with my three brothers and my dad, we really grew apart. I wish I knew how or why, because I dearly miss the little girl I knew that left home and who was replaced by the older, little woman who is nothing like her.
My entire family's lives have changed drastically since 2011. My youngest brothers Ty, he was only 5 when she was diagnosed so he never quite understood what was going on. My little brother Jarrett, he got angrier the longer it went on and took most of it out upon Ty and has changed a lot. My parents, they're pretty much the same, as far as I can tell. The one person in my family that's changed the most out of us all, that'd be my older brother Drew. He was 15 when it happened and he's grown farther apart from the family more than ever and is constantly in these screaming battles with my parents over what he's doing with his life. They mainly fight about the fact he's gained the habit of smoking cigarettes like drinking water and the kind of people he hangs out with. But there's other things my parents haven't found out yet that I know of. Like his pot smoking and the beers he keeps hidden from them and the fact he sneaks out almost every night and hangs out with his friends till the early morning doing who know what.
.......I guess I've changed quite a bit myself. I used to spend most of my time in the living room with my family watching TV or playing Legos with Ty and now I stay in my room all day, only comig out to get some food or water. I just can't stand to be around my siblings or parents because within five minutes, they're fighting with one another about something and yelling at each other and I hate it when they do because it hurts me. I can't stand it when someone hurts my family in any way, let alone when they're hurting one another........I've also grown quite used to spending my entire nights outside on the roof, listening to my music on the highest level to drown out anything. I've gone days without sleep and without eating. But no one knows because they're either to busy bickering or just dont care to acknowledge my existence. I guess you could say I've grown used to it, but I like it that way. I don't like being the center of attention or the one people at talking about. The only one's that have ever noticed anything are my three best friends, Kiley, Emily, and Mariah. All of them are going through their own struggles of some kind and I suppose that's how we've all bonded so closely. We're all looking forward to the time in less than three years when we turn 18 and can leave our familes for good, never to look back.
Well, thats part of the explanation of my life and the messed up black hole it's become. I'll update it more as time goes on
Hope you enjoyed it _._
