chan had always loved his members. he showed his love to each and every one of them but he had always stared at felix, always admiring something of the younger boy. he had just thought of it as admiring his fellow australian buddy. one day, chan was staring at felix playing with one of the other members, changbin. chan had a weird feeling as though he might throw up so he went to the bathroom to vomit. he started to vomit flowers and chan's eyes had widen. the flowers were daffodils. they had meant uncertainty, unrequited love, and return my affection. chan started to sob. his perfectly good life had become a broken one. he bitterly smiled and flushed the petals down the toilet. "hey hyung, you were in the bathroom for a long time. are you okay?" minho had asked with genuine concern for his hyung's well being. chan nodded and walked to his room. he didn't know who to tell or what to do. he just had putted it to the side. he knew what he had gotten into. oh, how he already knew who felix loved.
everyday had turned to a flower nightmare. he had realized that the flowers were different every time felix did something with him or with some other member. it was a pain he was willing to endure for as long as he lives. one day he noticed felix being closer and closer with changbin. chan frowned and started to want to vomit. felix had given changbin a peck. chan didn't have time to leave the scene and started to vomit flowers. withered flowers had come out of his mouth. luckily, nobody had noticed his flowers and he had quickly picked them up, stuffed them into his pocket, and ranto the bathroom. he started to sob and cry as he vomited the flowers. chan knew his love for felix wasn't going to go away and that he should get the surgery but chan didn't want to lose his feelings for the younger boy or lose his ability to love. loving was apart of chan. without love others, he wouldn't be chan. he couldn't.
he finished vomiting the withered flowers and rushed out the bathroom. little did he know he forgot to flush them down.
later woojin had gathered everyone together. "so um..." woojin paused. "i went into the bathroom and saw the toilet..full of flowers. the flowers meant rejection so i'm worried on of you is dying and i want the person who has the disease to step up. i'm truly worried." woojin said. everyone looked at each other with worried eyes, especially chan. everyone remained quiet. "we'll help you. you can get the surgery and it'll be all good."
a few minutes later, everyone remained quiet. "does anyone know who it is?" woojin asked.
jeongin raised his hand. "i-i know who it is.." chan was worried. he prayed that jeongin wouldn't say anything.
"it's..."
jeongin took a quick glance at chan and noticed his pleading look and said "me. it's me."
"what?!" everyone questioned. "y-yeah, sorry.." jeongin mumbled. "well then, you can get the surgery-" woojin was cut off. "no! i don't want to get the surgery! i love him-" jeongin was teary eyed. he knew how chan felt and he was covering everything up just for his hyung. "but jeongin baby, you can die and nobody wants that." hyunjin said. "ok, but i can handle it. i'd rather die hyung."
"who?" chan questioned. "i- i won't say."
after a long conversation, jeongin decided he was going to get the surgery. jeongin had lied to everyone's faces to give chan time to say that he had the disease. once everyone left, chan and jeongin decided to talk. "hyung, i know you have the disease."
chan frowned and nodded. "yeah.." chan mumbled. "thank you for not telling anyone. i needed time."
jeongin nodded. "whenever you're ready. by the way, who is it?" jeongin asked.
"you know you should be an actor. you're good at acting." chan said, trying to drift the conversation into a different direction. "i know what you're trying to do. who is it hyung?" jeongin asked.
"fine..only because you saved me." chan chuckled. "it's felix."
jeongin eyes widen and chan frowned. "you picked the worse person. he's hopelessly in love with changbin."
"i know. that' why i have this disease. jeongin, i love felix. i- i really do."
