Get it all out

2

So, I started a poem. I feel weird posting it bit I have to get used to it I guess. Hope you like it Also, be warned, could possibly trigger you.

scratch and poke but never bleed
tear the skin but not too deep
in the moment it's okay in your head
but once your home your filled with dread.

The thought nags
The feeling lingers
The trace of the cut
 You trace with your fingers.

I want to stop
but I want to not.
I want to feel the arousing pain.

You only have to scratch the surface
To have your body fill with pleasure.
The rush of adrenaline rushes up through your arm with a quick paced measure.

Your heart quickens
Your stomach leaps.
Your eyes roll back
with sudden relief.

I want to stop.
I want it to drop.
But the pleasure makes me want to not.
I let myself and others down,
But they won't see that I have drown.

I look at my arm
the scars remain.
But only a small scratch
Is on my vein.
Hard to spot, but more appear.
Every day, and I grow with fear.

What if soon it won't be just a scratch?
What if I grow to attached?
As if I scratch a bit to deep,
the blood will spill.
And if the blood spills one day,
Will it ever go away?
It's already becoming an obsession
and if I start to not scratch
and actually cut
that will be way to much.

So, that's my poem. I hope you liked it. It's a bit depressing.. sorry bout that. 😥😅