Song of the Chapter: North Hansen, Bearings
The group headed towards the vans that were taking them to the venue. Tyler stared forward and mumbled one-word answers to questions. Pete kept his hood up and sunglasses over his eyes. Patrick followed him and guided him through the crowds, still having puffed, red orbs himself from crying all night. Josh stuck next to Tyler but was pretty much useless in helping him walk through the endless people; his anxiety was through the roof since the day Eva called her doctor and it was terrible right now. Joe and Andy lead the group, but were completely disoriented and could barely find their way around. Dallon, Kenny, and Dan stuck towards the back, trying to close off their group so no one would get pushed around or rushed too badly in the hustle of the airport. Mike walked next to Vic, making small talk with him and trying to distract him, but Vic could barely reply without yawning. He hadn't slept since the incident and it was taking a toll on him.
Brendon trailed next to Tony who had his arm hung over Eva's shoulders. She was doing slightly better but could barely do anything alone with a panic attack, so she was stuck to Tony like glue. Since the idea of actually losing her became real, Tony preferred it that way. The group finally made it to the vans and all piled in, Tony picking one for Eva and opening the door for her as she slid in. Tyler and Pete got into that van followed by Josh and Patrick while Brendon joined his bandmates and everyone else got into the third car. Whenever Tyler, Pete, and Eva were in the same space, they clumped together. They all needed the physical reassurance of being alive.
The fans started to notice a change in all of the bands and even in Eva when she wouldn't go out to see anyone and anytime a fan talked to her, she'd say a quick hello, her hands shaking and voice getting caught, before running off. Brendon tweeted about family issues happening and how the tour would be finished but wouldn't be the same. Everyone, especially Eva, felt terrible, but no one could change it. People kept tweeting her, asking her what was happening. Many figured it was some kind of personal life issue arising and that she couldn't handle being around people considering she was even shying away from the guys. But some started to attack her, say she was getting to be bratty after living with everyone. Eva couldn't even handle social media half the time without panicking, but the guys hardly knew about that. She didn't want to worry them more.
Tony soon fell asleep, Josh and Patrick following shortly afterward due to how little sleep they all had gotten in the past few days between shows and helping out. Eva suddenly felt nervous. She hadn't spoken a single word to either of them after everything; she was too scared she'd break down so she settled for just cuddling close to them when possible. Tyler took this time to actually speak, considering they couldn't even attempt to make the effort since everything happened.
"E?" he croaked, his voice raw and scratched. She hummed a response to signal him to keep going. Pete and Tyler both held her hands that started to tremble from the conversation that was happening. "I know we haven't talked since everything, but it's not because I'm mad or upset with you. It's just because I couldn't handle the idea of losing you." Eva looked up to him with tears in her eyes. Pete continued. "We know you didn't choose this E. We know you had no clue what you were doing. No one here is mad. We just didn't know how to take it all in. It isn't your fault." Eva looked at her lap and tried to blink away the tears but it was no use.
"I feel like it is," she whispered. "No one is the same anymore, and even the fans hate me. They think I'm just too good for them now. But I'm not, I'm not good enough for them right now." Pete pulled her into his chest, instantly noticing how light she was again. "The real fans understand. But this isn't you, or us, or anything. It's life." She nodded into his chest and reached her hand out for Tyler who inched closer to join the hug.
Tyler added "You're alive. That's the first step. Now we work on keeping you that way. And that's okay." The three cried together for a while before all falling asleep in a huddle.
Eventually the vans pulled up to venue and started getting unloaded. Eva felt herself get picked up and laid somewhere on a couch. She opened her eyes a while later and saw Sarah sitting there watching her sleep. "Mom?" she whimpered, smiling slightly but having grief in her eyes. Sarah nodded and opened her arms as Eva launched from the couch and into her embrace. "I missed you so much. I'm so sorry." Sarah shook her head and rubbed Eva's back. "It's not your fault. You reached out for help that day. You knew you needed help and you asked for it. That is growth E. Be proud of it." Eva smiled and nodded, suddenly feeling a pressure be lifted from her heart. All of the bands came in and joined the two, everyone suddenly in a better mood with Eva being able to laugh and smile in Sarah's presence. Everything felt at ease, but then as Theo and Alex came backstage, she realized she had one more conversation to finish and this one may be the worst.
a/n: sorry there were no updates. college is killing me. hope everyone is doing well
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Gonna Be the Death of Me (adopted by Brendon Urie)
FanfictionEva only knew that she was left behind; her mom by fate and her dad by sorrow. Living in an home for girls for two years and being the oldest there, she grew up alone and with a feeling that it would never change. Music was the only escape she had u...
