Lower Your Standards - Random Rambles

Preface and Personality

Don't feel obligated to stick around. 

This is little more than word vomit on to what is essentially an online journal. Each chapter (entry?) will probably follow little order and may vary from pretentious thoughts and opinions to character analysis or something equally as random. Don't expect much.

So, if you are reading, I suppose you might be asking 'why are you writing this online?'(I mean, maybe you're not be asking that, and my writing that was rather presumptuous. Sorry)   

In short, I don't particularly like writing in journals. I find that I think faster than I can actually physically write and my hand will cramp up. That and of course, that a journal isn't really therapeutic for me. Like I don't find it transfers my thoughts out of my head and on to a page considering that I'm the only one who will ever actually see that page. When it's online, anyone can see it. I don't know, I guess I like having my voice out there. Is that profound or vain, I'm not entirely sure? Most likely the latter. Though Whitman does make a good point: 

"The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."

- Oh me! Oh Life by Walt Whitman (popularized by the film Dead Poet Society)

I guess that's the whole point, though. I question my purpose a hell of a lot and what I've come up with is that there really is no purpose in life, but yet it still goes on so what are you going to do about it. Personally, I'd like to make a difference for better in our society. So that's why I like to have my voice heard, 'cause it makes me feel like I'm making a difference. That said, writing a lame ass journal on a website mostly used be slash fiction writings doesn't really accomplish that. 

Hmm, maybe it is all vanity.

I'm kinda in to self analysis. I don't know if any of you who know me in real life have figured that out yet. But there is a quote from Otto Frank about his daughter, Anna Frank, that says "most parents don't really know their children." I think that's true. I also don't think most children know themselves. Or most anybody for that matter. I mean what I know about myself are things that I've been told by other people. That I'm smart, mature, empathetic, kind, logical, determined, motivated, etc. But if those are all thing that are coming from other people -- other people who don't really know me -- then how much of that is true. I mean if I were to say any of those things about myself I would be speaking from a bias. I know some of those apparent aspects of my personality must be true, but to which ones and to what extent? That's the real question right there.

All in all, I'm a teenager. And really unsure of life and my place in it. I think that's to be expected. Don't you?

- Sophie