suicidal dead girl

How I'm feeling right now.

So..I don't know how to really start off I Havnt wrote in a long time due to the fact I have a lot of shit going on.Well let's start of.I tried staying clean for a while it seemed to work. Then it went down to shit.I was always thinking about cutting.About how I would kill myself.I was home alone one day.Thought about takin my razer apart so I did.Long story short I got Pissed off and used all 4 of them. I wouldn't stop cutting I missed it so much. I didn't wanna stop. I knew I had to.Other wise I'd bleed out.I had to see my bf the next day.I tried so hard not for him to see or notice but he found out.I saw the way he looked at me so let down and sad.I knew I fucked up.I didn't want to belive it was true.I told him I'm sorry that he doesn't know what shit I'm going threw.He was there for me.But then,My friend tells me he is gonna kill himself and there isn't shit I can do about it.I try saving everyone and I can't even save myself.Idk if I'm gonna make another one update or not. or another book. not many ppl anyway. don't care too. but hey if your reading. If I leave I'm sorry