Momma always said, "My Mara is gonna grow' on up to be a great woman". Momma was a strong and proud woman. I smiled, ain't nobody mess with my momma because she take no lip. She was my favorite person in the whole world. One time she tell me when I cry because the neighbors boy was pickin' on me, she say " Mara that boy is a menace to everybody and anybody. Don't you pay no 'ttention to him. You is a soldier and you is as strong as the mean lookin' lady, that bags the groceries down on at Quicki Mart. Now tomorrow you march on by like he is just a fish that was tossed back in the ocean. Ya hear?". That boy never picked on me again. She sweet too, she always sing me songs when I go to bed. Oh her voice was something better than Miss Wanda Jackson herself.
The day she went was after momma, daddy, and I had went down to the southern states because daddy had got a promotion. I wasn't in the best of moods because we had left Boston my favorite place eva' with all my friends, and the busy streets, and endless parks. But right around the corner was my thirteenth year, so daddy and momma were acting all funny planning my " super secret surprise party". (Momma is a loud whisperer). They wanted to cheer me up cuz' well I looked like death. I wanted the new Cumbex typewriter that had just come out. I knew I wasn't gonna get it because in all of Mississipi the place they sold Cumbex typewriters was in Tupelo. We been livin' in Jackson so Tupelo was a well good drive.
I didn't know daddys plan to make me the happiest Mara there ever was. The day before my birthday momma would leave to go stay at Miss. Levie's house and get my gift up in Tupelo. Then while I thought she would be spending my birthday at a friends house, she would surprise me before they cut the cake with my only desire. Another thing about momma was that she refused to go to the doctors .She would say," real health is in fitness and well eatin' ain't no such as fancy medicine and words too big to say". Before we came to Mississippi momma was actin' real funny for a while so daddy made her go get checked. She came back saying she had a cold, that it was nutin' at all. But what the doctor told her was that she had stage five canca'. It had gotten worse with her refusal of goin' to get checked by the doctor.
That night at Levie's home it was 'bout three in the mornin' when momma began to feel a quakin' in her throat. She tossed in her sheets and moaned in her pillow then she felt somethin' come up in her throat with a foul comeback into her stomach. She crawled into the bathroom in the room, with her mouth filled with what tasted like blood. With a loud ringing in her ears the room was captured in blinks as, momma gave up everytin' in her body in that toilet. As she wretched all the blood in her body she was thinking my Mara oh my Mara... Levie found momma in the bathroom with the floor and her dress soaked in blood. By then her heart had already stopped. What was on the floor was a still pale corpse. Spread out over the toilet with her head inside of it.
My momma's pride killed her and that was the biggest change of my whole life. When daddy heard the news he sent everyone home. He took out the wine in the top kitchen cabinet and went into the upstairs bathroom. I was left at the table with the candles still blaring. He never told me why momma never came back from the friends house. Miss. June next door told me what had happend. From that moment on the world around me slowed down. The days went by where I didn't leave my bed. Daddy started taking days off from work, and just sitting by the Tee-vee drinking bottle after bottle of beer. He stopped showerin' and shavin', he started yelling at me a lot. Usually he was drunk and spit out insults dipped in hate.
One day after school some of the troublesome kids in class were laughin' behind a dumpster in an alley. In school we were learnin' about the colored and how they were dangerous and dirty. Most white people made sure that the colored never even looked them in the eyeball. Well except if youv'e hired help. I heard a moan and a grunt and I quietly walked to the edge of a dumpster . Three girls were watching and smoking while three boys were beating on a thin colored boy. Two were holding him by the arms and, the third was holding the colored boy's head and punching the boy in the stomach. The boy was crying and had his face covered in blood. I knew momma would help him... but she wasn't here anymore. I walked all the way back home without lookin' back up.
Daddy had stopped going to work completely and was passed out on the sofa watchin' the tee-vee. There was an empty bottle in his hand. We had moved three times since our last house. Each time our home got smalla' and uglia'. We had to let the help go, so I am always cookin' and makin' sure daddy is still breathin'. I had done most of the cleanin' plus schoolwork so I was real busy. I had found out by some papers that daddy had lost his job and the money was runnin' on out. Daddy was drinking more and actin' like a crazy man. He always smelled and did not dress his best. I felt things had to change startin' with that boy that was hurt. No matter what skin color he was.
I ran to the door and went to the dumpster site. The mean boys were gone but the boy was laying still on the ground. I picked him up by the arms and half-carried half-dragged him all the way home. He awoke in my bed with bandages on his wounds and ice on his bruises. He awoke to a smilin' skinny white girl. Who had a tray of food in her hands. He awoke with fear in his eyes and tried to get up. I told him to relax that I would take care of him. I told him my name was Mara. He said his name was Timothy. For the first time I felt calm and happy as I learned about a normal boy who loved to write and was saving up for college.
Daddy left the day after he found a colored boy with bruises reading in my bed. But not after he disciplined me for taking care of a colored boy. Timothy's mom took care of me and I grew close to his family. I had finally felt like I could finally let momma rest in peace. But I never knew what became of my...father. Now I will never make a silly mistake like my mommma did. I will never leave you SarahBeth, ya understand? Now it is time for you to go ni' ni'. Momma is gonna go ni' ni' too.
"Mara"? Timothy called
" Im comin' Just tellin' SarahBeth a story", Mara replied.
" Well tell her I love her from the top of her head to the bottom of her little toes" Timothy called
Mara laughed and kissed her baby girl on the head. Tucked her in and told her her daddy's words.
Before she walked out of the room Mara stopped and looked at her little baby. she sighed and said, " You would love my momma and she would love you".
