Love me if you dare

chapter6

Sunmi P.o.v

I habe never thought that Jin was serious about me calling him oppa, so I just playfully laughed at that. This caused him to look at me in a serious way making me stop laughing and setting my face serious too. "Sweety I am not joking around it is disrespecting if you don't call me oppa" I gulped thickly at his serious mimik and tone. "Oohh I thought you were just joking..." I trailed off looking at his stern set face. Namjoon then came to us "Hyung you can't immediately expect her to call you oppa, you guys don't even know each other much ... she will eventually after some time." His reasoning seemed to work since Jin was thinking and then nodded slowly aproving of Namjoons statement.
I then made my way over to Mr. Park I explained him the procedure and started to remove IV which I had put on before. As I was finished he called out to me: "Listen I am sorry I yelled at you... I should not have taken my frustration and anger out on you, it was very wrong of me. I am really deeply sorry. And to make up for it would like to take you out for dinner some time."he said looking really sincere and bothered by his actions from before. I was speechless not did I never expect an apology but also I never imagined him asking me out for dinner. Even if it was just to make up for his wrong behaviour, as I thought. I exchanged numbers wit Jin Jungkool and Jimin after they were set to go.

After a long tiring day I arrived at home just to be greeted by my pissed parents. My mom begin shouting at me immediately that I was the worst daughter she could ever have asked for that I am a disappointment to her and the whole family. I could not hold back my anger any more and shouted back that it was only because of the way she behaved towards me. She was even more angered: " You are a respectless bitch. If I just never would  have born you! You are nothing but a shame! It would have been better if we had married you off to your ex fiancé then you would not have such a big mouth. And you would have more respect!!! Even a daughter of a bitch would be way better than you!! How could I raise auch a unthankful bitch like you! You are always lazy don't ever do anything useful just whore around!!! If I had just aborted you when I had the chance to ... I would have definetly if I had known you would be such a worthless daughter. Thats also why nobody would ever want you!!!" At that I could not hold back anymore and shouted back" appearently thats how you raised me and failed to raise me in a good way never once did you ever think of my feelings. Never once did you ask me anything kindly always shouting, yelling, always mocking, always lecturing me about my mistakes and throwing every wrong I ever did in my face. I am so fucking sick of this whole shit. If I am respectless than you should ask yourself why you don't get any respect. You can only expect respect when you respect others too but appearently you are way too dumb to understand that simple thought. I always did my best to be a good daughter and not to be too much of a burden to you. I achieved got from a low school to achieve the highest school education but it was never enough for you. You never supported me during my hard times, the only thing you always knew was to blame me for everything. Never once did you ask me about how I feel or why I am depressed. I payed for my own car I payed for like everything on my flat on my own but all you do is tell me I am worthless!" That just earned me a slap from my mother. I just began laughing ironically." You can't take the truth and then you find your way only in violence. Yeah just hit me I am already used to it by now its nothing new for me you never did anything different to me" She angered even more taking a small metal from a electronik device and start beating me with it. I didn't even cry also I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes were burning I never wanted to cry infront of them ever again. It never changed anything they would never change, my life would never change. "Since when are kids talking back to their parents you pathetic whore. I should have beaten some manners into you sooner. Since when do paremts have to be respectfull to their children I raised you, I am older and I am the MOM you respect ME!!! I don't need to respect you. You are the worst shit and worst daughter in this world. God shall give you your punishment for you being such a bad daughter and disgrace to the family. Go whore around like you always do. Run away like you always do you don't know anything else anyway!!!" She screamed throwing all my belongings through the house.

I locked my self into my room and I could not hold back my tears streaming down my face anymore. My breaths became uneven and heavy from all the crying I could not swallow the burn and lump in my throat. My chest felt tight as if I could not breath anymore. I sobbed really hard my whole body shaking. Dark thoughts begin circling around my head again. My life was just a mess the last few months always waking up for another day full of pain and feeling worthless. I really started to consider what would happen if I was ever gone. 'Would even one single person care if I died? Would even one person miss me? Would my parents ever understand what they did to me and feel sorry about everything would they ever regrett anything? Would everybody just live on normally like I never existed? Would it be better if I just died. Who would care anyways ? - Right nobody!..
But I could not bring myself to erase this life that was given to me. I could never take a life that I didn't creat. But I really considered it sometimes....

I could not take my moms and dads shouting about the same things over and over about how worthless I was and how I was a disgrace. I got up off of my bed got dressed in comfy warm clothes put on a cap throw on a coat, grabbed my backpack and went out without talking to them. As I was out I picked my phone and called my best friend Jenni she always knew how I felt and always compforted me, she always listened to my problems and we would always think of a solution together. She was the best, I could always relay on her. I loved her like a sister. After some ringing she picked up her phone"Hey sunmi, whatsupp girl??" She asked. I tried so much to hold back the urge to cry into the phone, I didn't want her to worry to much but it was so hard. I swallowed thickly trying to keep my composure as a lump formed in my throat. "H..hey Jenni" my voice trembled a bit and my hands were shaking. I could hear her sigh frustrated and I knew she had cought up that I was actually going to cry and that bad things had happened. Her voice was full of worry as she asked "heeyy what happened why do you sound like you are about to cry any minute??" At that I lost it and began sobbing again. "Jjenni I just can't take this all anymore its so hard. I always gave my best to be a good daughter but why do they always treat me like this?" My voice trembled. "Your parents again?? Did you guys fight again?? Aiisshh... why are they like this... come on over I am waiting for you! You have to tell me everything that went on!" Just like that we ended the call.

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