My Life

1

        I was born on  February 4, 2002, a dad always talks about how they are happy you are in this world. They talk about how they held you in their arms, how they promised to always protect you and won't let anything or anyone hurt you. Well I can't say the same. My mom had me when she was 18, of course my so called father left. He went to Mexico and my mom followed him there. He was abusive, an alcoholic, and he even used drugs. That's my dad for you all.
         His parents didn't like my mom, his mom was a selfish bitch. My mom couldn't take it so one day she packed our things and we went to live with her parents. I don't remember much of my childhood. My mom says I was a happy, clumsy, funny kid. I never left my mom's side, I use to cry when I had to go to school. My mom left, she came to the United States again. I was raised with my grandparents, I staid with them for nine months and those nine months were a living hell, not because I was with my mama and papa, as they liked to be called, I adore them, but because of the neighbors that use to live by us.
        As any kid I use to be outside all the time. I had friends who lived close by... my neighbors were fucked up. My grandparents always told me to go hang out at their house without knowing what actually happened there. There was four siblings, three girls and one boy. The boy was the oldest and one of the sisters was the 2nd oldest...
*flashback*
He grabbed me by the arm, pulled me into his parents bedroom, he started kissing me and I didn't know what to do. He told me he "loved me." I should've screamed, I should've done something but I didn't, I guess it's my fault but again what would a four year old have done?
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Her I can't forget about her. She pulled me behind my grandparents car and touched me, took my clothes off. I felt numb, I didn't want to feel anything.
*end of flashback*

    I went on about my day like if nothing happened. I knew that if I said something, worse things would happen. I smiled at school, and at home. I re-think those days every time. I can still feel his and her hands on me. Now anytime a person comes close to me, fear overcomes my body. They messed me up. I'm terrified that it will occur again. What if it does? What if something worse comes along? I guess I'll live with that in mind. But again I was four years old. What could've I done? When the fear takes over, you just become numb.