Helter skelter {J-hope}

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Hey guys. I'm still writing part three so that will be out later this week. Also I apologize if I use korean honorifics wrong. I'm Full American and don't speak korean, so the only honorifics I know are the basic ones. I hope you guys enjoy this story and have a beautiful week. Tell me also what you did Halloween would love to know.

Love ya bunches ❄️




Three years ago..

// J-Hope's POV //

As I stare at the choreographer, my lungs begin to heavy. Inside my heart stood a beast, who was filled with hunger. It lingers in my body, and waits for something to bother me. It knows what I'm like, it was born with me.

I don't try to feed the monster but I can't control it. Whenever someone talks or acts in a stupid way. I devour myself. The hot, well cooked anger is great, it tastes so fucking good. The hours go by, and my heart remains the same.

Angry.

I couldn't describe what happened when the beast was born, I was only a child. My father's continuous road rage were the main center of my trauma. The rush of rage that would pound him when driving was immune. There's a saying that goes, that you get your mother's eyes and your father's anger.

Well it's true.

Anger isn't just an emotion, it's a disease. It's lethal.

It's a constant cycle that turns into episodes, every singe day.

I'm not an angry person. Actually, the reasons I'm happy and cheerful all the time Is because i hold my anger in. Which is the worst thing, it's just makes me worse.

I don't want people to be afraid of me. Since I have dongsaengs, I try not to be a fearful hyung. I don't want to be remembered that way.

But I can't help it! Well, I could. I could go to anger management but that won't work. My rage is too strong, too large, too powerful. I'm like a bomb screaming to go off.

It would help if I could beat someone up once in a while, but I obviously can't do that. The best medicine for anger is to act upon it.

But I can't if I want to be an idol, a good person, a role model. It's not my fault, i didn't ask to be this way. I just am.

I cant tell the members about my issues because all they'll say is anger management. Anger management.

Sometimes therapy doesn't work.

"J-hope you're supposed to come in after them and then dance," the choreographer said.

I know dumbass, I'm not a fucking idiot.

That's the main sign I'm getting angry if I start cursing.

"I know," I seethe trying to hold in my anger.

Compress. Compress. Compress.

"Then do it right," he snapped.

I glare my fangs at him, imagining all the things I could do to him right now.

We started again, and not to brag but I did pretty well. Or at least I thought so.

"JHOPEEEEE," he mocked.

I sucked in my breath, "What?! I did it right this time."

He laughed and whispered, "and you're the best? That's a joke."

My heart blasted, "What did you say?!"

I was steaming and he could tell, he threw his hands up lazily and acted innocent, "i don't know what you're talking about kid."

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