Sooooo.........,
Many times when I see y'all talking I felt left out because I'd ask what the gist was about and well no one really bothered to answer me so I'd just bury myself in novels to mask the pain I felt . We were friends yes but its mind shattering how when I needed someone to talk to it just wasn't you . most times I'd see that ya down I'd try my best to cheer you up even if I felt you were somewhat distant I'd cheer you up even without asking what was wrong , twas not like I wasn't interested I just felt you wouldn't tell me and you'd shut me out and hearing the word no hurts a lot other times I'd just let you be and not probe.
It hurts knowing that most times you were like that , I was the major cause and one thing that confuses me is how you said you wouldn't let a guy come between us yet you snubbed me because of a couple of guys . its so weird how I'd still meet you up cheerfully tell you all my garbage when unbeknownst to me you harboured such feelings maybe I just never paid attention to you or twas my fear of getting rejected that created the rift and well twas my bad for getting carried away on the wheels of euphoria .
But really , were we really really friends because most times I'd be the last to know things or I wouldn't know at all , I'd tell you things but you were miserly with your words , people think you made sacrifices for my happiness but was I actually happy seeing that our relationship was strained . Many timess I'd feel you were keeping things from me and I was right because while lie to me that you liked someone else and then start up a big mess by saying the truth later on , painting me as a bad person who's out to get all your friends like those words still hurt till today.
I remember after telling you how I felt whenever you replied late yet you still did it . I felt so sad because you just said a sentence without even acknowledging what I said most times I'd just assume that twas your phone's fault but imagine my shock and pain when I learnt that you'd repaired it. Sometimes I'd feel like am the only one interested in this because am always the one giving , telling and saying things while when I stop , you'd shut me out .
All those times that you were blocking and unblocking me unknown to me and I said so u were debating my value in your life you know that hurt right because anytime you guys had issues you pour it out on me . most times I'd feel like things would have been better if you remained in the other row and did not come back at least that way I wouldn't have been friends with your friends , sometimes when you guys have issues I'd just feel like am the cause yunno . I won't lie but I felt you may have talked badly about me though I kinda deserve it for taking what was yours though in my defence you said you weren't interested . And am not the only bad guy here cause if he never told me he liked me nothing would have happened. Everything just hurts ahbeg.....
