I stared at the three little sticks in front of me in disbelief. I must have got it wrong- peed on the stick wrong or something, but could I have got it wrong on all three!? I re-read the instructions on the box about ten times before sinking down onto the bathroom floor. I sat crying for what seemed like hours before the muffled sound coming from my jean pocket threw me back into reality. I glanced at the caller ID before answering the phone.
"Hello?" the voice on the other end sounded panicked. Probably something to do with the text i'd sent him earlier, which was understandable.
"Are you okay!? Hello?" his voice sounded worried, but annoyed at the same time. It was hard for me to gather up the strength to reply.
"Y-yeah." My voice cracked from the dryness of it; something to do with the amount of time I'd spent crying, no doubt.
"Well...? Did you take it?"
At this question I began to sob again.
"Oh God. It's positive isn't it!?" he sighed.
"I don't know what I'm going to do!" I cried.
"Well, you're just going to have to get rid of it!" he mumbled.
My heart stopped and I instantly felt sick.
"Noooooo, nonononono! NO!" I screamed.
Sure, I might not like kids much, but I was dead against abortion. The thought of killing something so tiny and helpless that is living, growing and surviving off you, made me sick.
Especially after the lessons we took about it in Religious Education. Some of the stories our fat, bald, sweaty teacher told us, mortified me. And the video he shown us about how they did abortions in America, made me cry. You could see the babies mouth open as if it was screaming when they were ripping its body apart! The Silent Scream seemed an appropriate thing to call it!
No way was I aborting this baby!
"Well what else can you do!? I'm not ready to be a father yet! I'm 17 next month for God's sake!" he shouted sounding agitated at me, as if it was my fault I didn't want to MURDER someone!
"And you really think I'm ready to be a mother!? SUCK. IT. UP!" I screamed back!
"Look..." he sounded tired, like he knew he wasn't going to win this fight. "can I come over to talk about it?"
"No, my mom and dad are in, and I really don't want them to find out just yet. I'll come over to you." I replied gathering just about enough energy to heave myself off the bathroom floor.
"Okay, see you in half an hour yeah?"
"Whatever."
With that, I put the phone down, went into my room and picked up my bag shoving my phone, iPod and money for bus fare into it.
Walking out of my front door, my head was filled with millions of thoughts hitting me all at once, like a ton of bricks!
Once that stood out most was how I could never live with myself if I killed this baby, but am I really ready to take care of something so small, delicate and beautiful when I could barely take care of myself!?
Plugging my earphones into my iPod and stuffing the earphones into my ears, it seemed ironic that the song that came on first was B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams- Airplanes.
I could REALLY use a wish right now!
