She's gone cold.
I'm sad.
She's happy with them.
I'm alone.
She have secrets with them.
I wish with me too.
She's sorry, I knew I've come so far I regret it.
She was hurt and I'm in pain.
We both know were not in good terms but Iam the only one that affected that's what I feel. I glanced at her every moment in school while she was busy laughing and smiling with her friends.
I think about her every single day. I miss her so much. How I wish she was with me when I needed her the most.
I regret the things I did, the day I decided to leave and tried not so hard to hold her tight. She slipped away from me and now I'm beyond tired.
Tired of hearing sorry, tired of being compared. I never had a chance to tell her this, I'm full of insecurities I just need time to think and care about myself first, I had to slip her away for the sake of her happiness and to fully accept and love myself...
"Sana pala hindi ko siya tinake for granted, Sana sumugal ulit ako, sana hindi na lang ako naging impulsive sa mga decisions ko, I'm sorry pero kasi napapagod din ako at sumusuko tao lang naman ako e and that time kailangan ko talaga ang Best friend ko," sabi ko kay Luis.
I kept reminiscing the time that were together. At ngayon inoopen up ko sa one of my closest friend here in Cebu. Oo nga pala kwento ako ng kwento di nyo pa ko kilala. Btw, I'm Ishayana Faith Galvez at lumipat kami dito ngayon here in Cebu at dito ko nakilala ang close friend kong ARMY well, we're both fond of the South Korean Boy Band BTS.
She's Shanaih Luis Suarez and well I think we are compatible and to think na sya lang talaga ang kumausap sakin dito after ko magtransfer so yeah, she is now my best of friend.
"Okay lang yan. Magiging maayos din kayo kung tinuring ka talaga niyang kaibigan kapag nagkita ulit kayo siguradong wala siyang pinalit sayo. Maybe meron siyang new friends and others pero iba pa rin pag kayo kapag you and her lang." she comfort me and talking like a friendship guru, kidding.
"Well, if that's the case sana nga. Pero parang sobrang tagal nang panahon na baka nakalimutan na niya ko kasi silent treatment ang nanaig between us. Sobrang miss ko na siya. Oh, shit! Why am I crying?! I'm sorry nagbreak down nanaman ako"
Dali dali niya akong nilapitan then she hugged me. I felt comfortable and her warm embrace just makes me feel that today I'm not alone.
"Alam mo di lang ikaw ang naramdaman ang ganyang heartache about friends, Oo alam kong masakit eh mas masakit pa kaya ito sa break up ng magbf at gf haha so ayun nga nawalan ka ng oras sa kanya and she also to you kaya ganun, ganyang ganyan din ang naranasan ko way back then na meron akong friend rather best friend nagkaroon kami ng cold war wala talagang pansinan, walang asaran walang kwentuhan kaya nakakamiss dahil doon nakita ko masaya siya with her other friends kaya ako parang wala lang she doesn't even missed my presence kaya sana kung wala na talaga palayain mo na magpahinga ka na pero kung maaayos pa ayusin niyo. Please Faith, I want to see your genuine smile at ang mga mata mo na para bang nakangiti kapag tumatawa without holding back, aryt?" parang speech na sabi niya tagos sa puso ko.
Hay nako Luis, bakit answerte ko at nakilala kita pero parang may kulang kasi eh ano ba ang kailangan namin? Dapat pa bang ayusin at kausapin ko siya o kailangan lang namin ng closure?
Masakit isipin na sobrang apektado ako sa cold war namin ng Best friend ko kasi after 2 years siya at siya pa rin ang beshie ko. And I really regret everything na dahil lang sa maliit na bagay at sa pagseselos ko nawalan kami ng communication. And boom wala na!
Flashback
"Hahahaha! Oo nga e napanood ko nga yun makatawa!" siya, while laughing with her circle of friends while me I just feel pathetic and alone kasi nasanay ako na siya yung kasa-kasama ko e. Sobrang sakit lang makita at doon na nga nagsimula akong naging cold towards her.
