Undecided Love

Zen.

I sighed "another one please" i asked the bartender raising my cup in the air. "Sure coming up" i was reflecting on what happened happened just moments ago. "I don't think she going to ever forgive me. I forgot and on top of the some reports caught me hang around another woman at the hotel. If that doesn't look suspicious enough" i drank the last bit of strong liquor the bartender gave me feeling horrible and guilty. This is my anniversary...OUR anniversary....I promised (Y/N) i would come straight home after rehearsal but I didn't. When i got home it was 11. I know she saw. She wasn't even home. How could i have done this. How can i win my (Y/N) back? I sighed lighting a cigarette looking at it smiling sadly at it. "Ha...if she was to see me smoking again i sure would have lost my fingers right. Now"
...........*~Past Memory~*..............

"Zen! What have i told you about smoking them things!!" (Y/N) y'all at me snatching the cigarettes from me even the one i just lit up putting it out frowning at him upset. "Aww come on! I know they're bad but they help with my nerves and stress. I promise ima stop just not yet." I tried to convince her to give them back she frowned upset "Zen you should always come to me. This should be your last choice. You have nothing to worry about. Your an excellent actor and a beautiful model. Everything will come due in time. So please no more okay? Trust me" she smiled at me so sweetly with beautifies floating in my stomach. I pulled her down into a sweet embrace holding her tightly taking in her sweet lavender and coconut sent. "I love you. Please never leave me and stay by my side...forever i need you." She giggled at me giving me a sweet kiss. "I promise and I won't allow any cigarettes to take me place! I'll fight to the death!!" She said seriously frowning her eyebrows raising her fist in the air cheering i sweat dropped watching her then smiled at her and laughed at her. The love of my life. I will do anything to keep that smile and hear that laugh. I won't fail you I promise...
.......*~Present Time~*..............

I sighed putting out the cigarette. "One promise I shouldn't break to her" i got up and paid my bill leaving a tip. Walking out into the street feeling the cold breeze against my worm face. Getting on my bike and driving away into the darkness. I didn't wanna go home. But I didn't know where to go. I couldn't bring myself to see (Y/N) so i did something. I went somewhere I shouldn't. I knocked on the door not really thinking or caring about my actions. I heard the door open "zen? What are you doing here? Everything okay?" "Just needed to kill time" i walked inside closing the door behind me. Knowing what ever happens next i will regret later just not now. I need someone..I need (y/n).