"Do I know you?" Peas ask sitting up from the tub.
"No, my fair Madian," she says. Her eyes are brilliantly blue and shine like stars. They match amazingly with her pink outfit. Her dark skin seems to have just come from a cup of hot chocolate. "We have never crossed paths before." Her attention goes back to ABS. "Why are you fighting?"
"This slut is cheating on me!!!" My beloved ABS screeches. The pink girl in the outfit laughs.
"For how can the be if she screams at the sight of his face?" This amazing girl points outs. "You had to save her from his dreaded clutches." At that moment Peas stands up and grabs Garbage Boi. She mutters something about pokemon and rushes out with him.
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"I swear I know her from somewhere," I say. I feel my eyebrow furrow as I try to remember where from. Somewhere long ago. No, it was on this boat. How?
I turn to ask
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"See," The fair lady says. "You see I only speak of the truth."
"Of course," ABS says and slides out of the room. I turn to this glorious lady.
"What is your name?" I ask the fair lady.
"S.B.F," She says, "I'm here cause the Handras got a message complaining that there were only straight white people so now I'm here."
"But we never said anyone was straight. What does S.B.F stand for?" I ask.
"Sassy Black Friend." She says. A dead look appears in her eyes. "You are never safe from Waluigi."
"That seems reasonable," I say. I pause, "Wait are you supposed to be my sidekick?"
SBF nods. "I will be you sassy friend who makes comments that are supposed to be funny during the fight." She pulls out a sword. "See I can handle myself."
"That's not very womanly of you," I say tilting my head to the side.
"It isn't supposed to be-" SBF starts but her head leans back and her eyes go blank for a minute. "Of course," The sword disappears. "I'm here to help you in-"
I hear a string of curse words from on the deck. S.B.F and I rush up to the top deck. There stand Peas and garbaged boi. Peas' green shoulder length hair blows behind her as she stares into the wind screeching. ABS appears and look out at the water with much handsome.
There on the water floats ice that is miles wide and miles thick. And we are heading right steaming right towards it.
"Water are we gonna do?!?!" Yells S.B.F. Peas look at her with anger in her eyes.
"Was that fuckin pun!?!" Peas yells.
"What is happening?" krampus says emerging from the doorway. I scream and ABS does flying attack at him.
"Back Foul Beast!" ABS roars. Krampus lets out a shriek of terror.
"Go hot stuff!!" I scream.
"If he is so hot then why doesn't the ice just melt for him...." Peas trails off but she has a point. She rushes over to ABS and ties a rope around and start to push in over the edge.
"Woah Peas," S.B.F says. "I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff."
Peas throughs him over the edge and ties him to the bow. The ice is growing closer and closer.
"Brace for impact," Garbage boi says quietly and put one finger on the railing. Peas stands at the bow glaring ahead, S.B.F grips my hand.
As we reach the ice it melt in front of ABS because he is so hot.
Peas starts to say "What the -"
END OF CHAPTER
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I can't believe it work!! That was the most stupid idea! I just wanted him to die!!
YOU ARE READING
The Scintillating Viking
Romance*Offensive, Mature themes and jabs at the abusive side of gender roles are common. Beronica was never a slut. She is 100% normal and never slept with anyone. Until a bunch of abs (no we're serious he's just abs, and a dinosaur tail) came along a swe...
