The Nonexistence Or Something

#1: 'What The Hell?'

Consciousness faded back to me, and I am greeted with a sharp white light. I cover my eyes with my forearm and groan, then slowly uncover them and blink. "What the hell...?" I mumbled, sitting up on the hard, white ground. The ground is the only thing that visibly exists. On the ground beside me sat a white envelope in which in neat, small script instated the cold, clinical words of "You have been banned from existence." Panic took me by my shirt collar and slammed me into the floor; What does this piece of paper mean? How can I be banned from existing? How is that even possible?' I stood up, brushing invisible dust off my ripped jeans and started walking. I was greeted with another white envelope, which in the same handwriting as the first. "There is no end or beginning to this place. Food and water are not a need, but you will still feel the hunger and thirst, along with exhaustion." I let the crisp paper fall from my fingertips, then numbly fell into a crouch. "What the actual hell is happening?" I said, rubbing my temples. "What did I do?" I asked myself, the loneliness and anxiety consuming me. I fell to my back, my body decides not to support my weight. 

"This has to be a dream..." I whispered. 

"It's not." A crystallized voice spoke in a monotone, and she stepped into view. The woman matched her voice; ragged and clear. Her dark red locks perched on her shoulders in chopped layers and her dark grey irises glinted with curiosity. "Lee. Who are you?" Lee shrugged, sitting on the white ground. 

"I'm Erin. What is this place?" I answered, sitting up to face her. 

"The place where they send you when they ban you from existence?" She asked sarcastically, a sly smirk riding along with her remark. 

"So...Is it called something cool like 'Nonexistence' or something?" I Said, wiggling my fingers for emphasis. Lee chuckled, shaking her head. 

"No, doofus. Did you see a welcome sign?" Lee seemed to be kind of mean. Like the edgy people in the hallway at school that you don't approach because they kinda scare you. She had a carefree attitude like she didn't give two craps whether or not she was banned from existence or not. 

"No, but I got blinded by the lights," I said jokingly, and she tutted. 

"Ah, yes. The gorgeous lights that make you wonder if you could burn your eyes out and finally be sent to death. You can't by the way." She said, the sly smirk still intact. I ran my hands through my chestnut hair and shook my head, a small smile playing on my thin lips. 

"What did you do to get here?" Lee asked curiously. 

"That's the thing. I don't know." I breathed, leaning in. 

"Come on Doofus, there's gotta be something you did." She contradicted, leaning back on her palms. 

"I live- I lived a quiet life. I mean I was finishing up my master's degree and I enjoyed my job at the local library. I was the nerd of my class." I said defiantly. 

"Awe, Did little Erin get shoved into a few lockers?" Lee mocked, using a baby voice. I rolled my eyes, getting a wider smirk from her. 

"No, not like that." I chuckled. "What did you do to get here?" I asked, wanting to slap myself after I realized what I just said. Lee didn't seem fazed, she just shrugged.

 "Just shoved an ax into my stepfather's throat." She said casually. 

"What?" I asked, clearing my throat to express my confusion. 

"I killed my stepfather for raping me." She said, not a hint of emotion in her voice with the exception of cynical sarcasm. I cleared my throat, not sure what to say. The woman adjusted her burnt orange sleeveless cardigan, pulling it to cover her black band tee for an artist I had never heard of before. "Anyway, We have food somehow transported once a week. I can assume with you here the size will double. They want you to feel the hunger, so they don't give us very much. I advise that you don't eat all of it at once." Lee said in the same tone, but there was something else to it. An edge of an emotion I couldn't fathom the girl to have. "It should be here right about...Now." As Lee spoke the last word, a small white tube popped out of the ceiling and slowly descended, holding two clinical white trays. On the trays was a bowl of what looked to be beef stew, and a tin of vanilla yogurt. There was a small bottle of water along with a small paper cup with two pills. 

"What are these?" I asked, Looking up to Lee. 

"Sleep pills. They only give you two, but one will knock you out for two days straight." She said, taking a miniscule sip of the stew. I was awestruck, but I mimicked her. "I thought I would be alone here forever." She murmured. 

"Do they ever let you out?" I asked, and she shrugged, putting her bowl back on the tray. 

"I don't know, Erin. It's always been me and only me. And I haven't been let out." Lee said quietly, fidgeting with her fingers.

 "Are you okay?" I asked, my plain brown eyes meeting her dark grey ones. 

"I'm fine." She said and smiled as if her words were true. She picked the pills next, looking at me. "I'm gonna take one. You should too. There's nothing to do here except sit and regret." She said, putting a pill at the back of her throat and taking a swig of the water. She laid down next to her tray and looked at me, her mask falling apart. "I lied." She said dreamily, her eyelids growing heavy. 

"What about?" I said, twirling my paper cup so that the tablets hit the walls with a small thud. 

"Saying I've been alone forever. I lied. I had a daughter. Her name was Sofie. She was 3 when I was taken." I frowned and tilted my head. "It's been so long since I've had genuine human contact, Erin." Lee pleaded with her eyes, and I looked at the pills. I swallowed one and then walked over, laying down with her. I gently wrapped my arm around her waist, and the girl sunk into my touch, releasing a breath. We fell asleep.

I woke up snuggling Lee, and I couldn't fathom where I was, or who this woman I was cuddling was. She woke up, gently taking my arm off of her and stretching. "It's been two days. Thank you for sleeping alongside me." I realized what had happened and then I was hit with massive hunger. I groaned, reaching for the yogurt. Tilting my head back, I swallowed a small mouthful and then put it back on my tray. "We're supposed to log our feelings or whatever in those," Lee said and pointed at the white journals and clinical black pens that had been sent down the cylinder that had brought us food. I stood up, grabbing my journal and sitting down.

Dear Journal,

It's been three days, and I still have the aching confusion I had when I was blinded by the lights. Why am I here? I have absolutely no idea. Lee seems nice, but very sarcastic. What am I supposed to write in here? How I'm hungry and lonely and filled to the top with regret? But how am I supposed to be regretful if I don't even know what I did? My brain is numb with questions. Bye for now.

I looked at Lee, who was still writing. When she finished, she put the journals back in the tube, and they ascended back up to wherever they were meant to go.

A/N: Hey guys, welcome to my new book! I can't guarantee I will be updating as often as SMF, but I can try. Please leave a vote and some feedback!