So today I was on the rag and I was itchin' for a big dirty feed so I headed down to punjabi's In Vieux Quebec and I had some curried chicken and rice. I knows that curry upsets my ShanStomach© so I don't know why the fuck I would even consider eating it. After, I decided to go into Simons because I needed a new outfit as I haven't changed in an hour and a half.
I was just browsing around and i found these toats gorge high waisted bedazzled shorts and I just had to try them on. I went to the dressing room with them and put them up over my ShanHips© and then it hit me. I ran out of the dressing room and straight to the bathroom. I never even bothered to take the shorts on.
I ran to the ladies room but there was someone giving birth in the only stall so I had no other choice but use the men's room. It's not like I haven't used the men's room before because of that little stage i went through in grade seven.
I popped and squatted down over the toilet and just let rip! I had a nasty case of the curry scutts. It never ran out of me as diarrhea usually would, it more or less just fell out in short, rapid intervals.
When I got up I checked checked to see if the flower crown that I had stuffed up my vaginal area had fallen out during my little episode of spastic colon, and when looked, there was shit all over the back of the toilet.
Ashamed of my ShanShit©, I ran out of Simons hoping they wouldn't notice that I was still wearing the shorts.
That's all the shit talk for today!
-Shans
