Tainted | Disdained Diadem: LOST

02| Behind

TWO: Behind

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I have seen many things. . .
I have witness them with my own eyes. . .
But, what is this . . . why does it feels as if I do not understand a thing?
Why do every step and path that I have wandered feels things only gets worse?

"What now?"

I open my eyes but I instantly shut it because of the striking rays of the sun from the window near the spot I am lying.

I roll over and open my eyes again. The clean and bright high ceiling of this library was the first thing I saw. Shelves of old books and scrolls are surrounding me. Hanged in between each shelves are old paintings, characters, and tapestries. Below each ink and woven pieces of arts are artifacts-old vases broken or not, a stone or wood tablet, a small statue of a soldier, a ship made out of precious stones, . . . this is more like a museum rather than a library.

"What are you doing?"

I immediately pushed my upper body up and sat. I raise my head and look at the person standing at the door, wearing a simple and thick dark pink robe with red sash and hair loosely hanging on her shoulder. This is my first time seeing this person in this house but with her deep emerald eyes with rings of even darker shade of green; I know she is the Duke's granddaughter.

"Who are you?"

I slowly stand up keeping my eyes on her.

"Are you the one whom they say the Duke brought in?"

I smiled, "Yes, my Lady. It is all thanks to the Duke I am in good shape now . . . my name is Sahhar, what can I do for you?"

Her eyes brighten and her lips slowly widens seeing me smile to her, "Sahhar. . . just call me Nadira."

She gracefully walk towards me, "What were you doing? Why were you laying down on the floor?"

"Resting." I simply replied.

Her eyes widen and her jaw hang making me wonder if I answered her question and curious eyes. But suddenly, it is my turn to get confused when her soft laugh fill this wide library ringing like a symphony of chimes.

"Resting? On the bare cold floor? That is quite different ways of resting for a lady."

"Nadira. . ."

We slowly turn our head and look at the door where the voice came from. A woman was standing there holding a stick with her back straight and chin held high.

"A lady should not laugh loudly like you did earlier." she said. She quickly examines Nadira and her eyes squint as if she found something unnecessary, "Why are you wearing such austere robes? You even used a dowdy pin in your hair. Have you been oblivious to what I teach you?"

"Ah-this will not happen again Teacher."

"In your act, in your clothes, in your every move you must show elegance for you are part of the Rastroyn. Now come. We will start our lesson."

"Yes."

She face me and her eyes brighten, "Let's continue our conversation tomorrow." She smiled before finally turning her back and walk out of this library.

Upon leaving this library, the woman-Miss Irinya look at me. She look at me from head to down and feet to my eyes. I remember this is how she looked at me when I first entered this residence-that look as if she is looking to a worthless trash but . . . I smile at her whenever she look at me like that.

"Nadira is the granddaughter of the Duke and the sole heir of the Rastroyn. You are a wanderer without a place, a beggar pitied by the Duke. She is a lady and you are a commoner with neither education nor sense of decorum, so do not lay your dirty fingers on her. Know your boundaries." she pointed out and held her chin even higher.

She was about to turn her back and leave this room but she stop, and face me again, "Know your place. Even a homeless know the system, the class of this world."

System of this world? Class? What is that? The wealthy are walking on the clouds and the broke are scrapping their sole on the rough road. Those on top will keep on stepping the back of those who struggle to live down on the ground. Those on high grounds are the puppeteer while those humbles become the puppet. Is she referring to this kind of system? Those high class and low class?

Yes, I am not educated. I know nothing.

"Oh! So you are here after all."

I immediately stand straight and look at the door. The Duke entered and walk near the table stack with scrolls and books.

I smile, "Greetings, Duke."

"The same goes to you, Sahhar." he answered. "Some deep thoughts bothering you? Might you tell me?"

"It's nothing." I answered immediately.

He slowly trail his eyes to meet mine. I just smile at him assuring it was nothing. He silently nod before continuing what he was doing. "I saw Nadira exiting this room. Did she greet you properly? What can you say about her?"

With excitement, "Ah! Nadira, your granddaughter."

I approach a vase near the window full of beautiful and colorful flower giving off a wonderful fragrance conquering the old smell of books. The sun's rays are caressing these flowers making it glow in a broad day light, I touch those, there petals are soft.

"Your granddaughter is a real beauty. A dancing flower in a gentle breeze cannot match her grace. And her smile was just like the bright sun."

Hearing no response, I face the Duke. He is looking at me as if he did not expect my answer. Suddenly, a thought disturbed my mind. "Forgive me I entered your library without permission."

Awaken, his eyes blink. "Ah-permission is not needed, you can enter this library whenever you want. Have you found a book to your liking?"

"There should be, but. . ." his brow furrowed waiting for further answer. "Do you think I can find a book to my liking? Do you think someone like me who know nothing finds these books admirable?"

He stop. He raise his head and face me again. His eyes was no longer full of scrutiny, not filled with disgust like Miss Irinya but his eyes shows sympathy and bewilderment. But those vanished immediately when he noticed I was starting at his eyes.

"Are you not going to be late on wherever you are going, Duke? I have seen your carriage already prepared, ready to depart." I said, breaking the ringing silence.

"Ah-yes! Yes! I almost forgot." He quickly took the papers and books he needed and walk his way to the door.

"Duke!" I suddenly called forgetting that one should never dare shout at a Duke or any Higher officials or you will receive a clear beating or you a metal ball will be chocking you for a day.

He stop exactly at the door and face me.

"The sky is clear and the sun is shining brightly. A jaunt in this wonderful weather can help you relax and feel alive after an exhausting task. Like a flower, it loses its life, it withers if kept in a vase only for decoration and not even receiving sunlight."

I smile at him, he just silently stare at me, brows slowly creases, confused look apparent on his face.

A man came, it was that guard. He look at me, eyes bright like a gold but also cold and blank. A curt nod from him was his greeting to me before he face the Duke. He bow his head, state his greetings and ushered the Duke to the waiting carriage.

The room was once again silent and there is only me, alone. I look at the vase in front of me, stared at the flowers slowly losing their lives; the vibrant color of their leaves are dull and dry.

The confused, bewildered face of the Duke flashed in my mind. . . smirk slowly crept on my lips.

.•*•.