About The Author

11/1/18

I'm doing okay. Better than I used to be, I guess. I just really, really miss my boyfriend. I'm not allowed to talk to him or see him or anything, along with my friends. I can't see them either. I can only talk to my family members and it's really hard. 

Also, I'm dealing with really bad dissociation, which basically means I'm not one with myself and nothing feels real. I feel like everything is a hallucination, like no one I know is actually alive and real. Idk, it's weird. 

Switching topics. Imagine you've met the love of your life. Imagine thinking about a future with them; getting an apartment, dogs, etc. Imagine loving them more than you've ever loved anything in your entire life. Then imagine it getting taken away from you, cold turkey. Completely cut off. That's what's happening to me, and I miss him so much it's actually killing me. I feel weird inside without him, like something in me is missing. 

Do you ever notice the little things about your significant other? Things like; the way he laughs before he kisses me. The way his lips curl up at the edges into the perfect smile when he sees me. The way his hand feels in mine. The way my hands fit around his waist, almost like it was molded for my hands to rest there. The way his hair feels running through my fingers. I just want him to know how much I love him.