My World - It Changed Since You Came

Prologue

April 5. Today, Kyoto is under a beautiful day for sightseeing. A clear, azure sky looms overhead. Spring has come and the arboreal meadows are now blooming in pink. Around me are the vibrant colors of sakura floating around dark hazel branches, along with the fragrant scent of its petals brought from the blowing wind as it races across the view, and under it all is the luscious green of spring and the visitors who came in to see this magical sight.

There is always awe and wonder among people's faces for me to see at this time of the year as they admire this beautiful sight; maybe even after seeing them time and again. Over and over, I'd see many take photos, caress the delicate, velvety petals, and smell the euphoria of spring air. Spring after spring, children would run along the pink-tainted river sitting in the middle of the park, friends and family would sit around the various staples of bento while chatting and making treasured memories with each other, lovebirds under the romantic shade of cherry blossoms and the loving embrace of each others company. Year after year, I'd find emotions of inspiration, happiness, love;  feelings that I can merely observe from other people at this special time of the year.

I envy them.

While the crowd continues to grow, I walked alone on the sidelines with a bag of supplies in hand for the first day of school. I steady my pace, take a breath, and avert my attention away from the commotion to my surroundings, to notice just how dispersed the cherry blossoms were around town. For a few more seconds, I try to pry something from these flowers everyone enjoys. Yet soon enough, it had gone out of my interest and I continued my way around the block.

The street then grew unusually quiet. The houses I passed by felt empty and abandoned. The whole neighborhood must have gone to see the cherry blossoms and left me to my lonesome. It didn't matter at first. Though, from the silence, my ears would soon pick up a nostalgic sound. A horrendous one. The noise sounds like static; that constant noise that continues to hover on my mind's every bit of thought. It is sickening. Distracting. On its cruel trance, it had felt that every bit of thought felt erased, deleted. Yet, I continued to walk mindlessly without a bit of direction. Inside, I felt empty.

However, upon the lot of my own residence, the deafening tone breaks over the broken sound of radio chatter as I open the door to let myself in.

"Welcome back, Itsuki!"

Greeting me over the radio was a cheery voice from across the room and in the kitchen, which I recognize to be my mom's. Noticeably, she is busy preparing something: a picnic. There's no need to be a genius to find that out when, visibly, there were lunchboxes on the kitchen counter, a camera set on the living room table, and a neatly folded picnic mat right on the doorway. At the brief moment from when my mom acknowledged my arrival, loud thumps echoed from upstairs, then came my dad and my little sister; dressed up in floral wear for the occasion.

"I'm home."

While I rest my exhausted body onto the sofa, the whole family started to gather in the living room. Mom finally finished her preparation, turned the radio off, and came out of the kitchen to have herself stand at my back and rub my pliant head in encouragement.

"Were you able to buy all you need?"

I let out a small nod. Dad then set Yui beside me without concern for my approval nor my personal space. In the second that Yui made contact with the sofa, she dashed right onto me and wrapped her slender arms onto my neck. Dad lets out a chuckle as he sits down at a couch on the opposite side of the room. Annoying.

"Did you see the cherry blossoms, nii-san?"

I gave another nod.

Mom stood behind Yui and played a little kissy game while asking, "They're beautiful, aren't they?"

"I guess so," I said in reply.

"Well, isn't that lovely? You see, your father and I talked about it and thought that it would be nice to have a picnic in the park, like last time. What do you think?"

"I'll stay."

...

Everyone became mute at the moment. Silence filled the room; my parent's staring daggers at me as if I had said something. Dad, with disapproval in his eyes, tries to break the atmosphere with me in the wrong and says:

"Is something wrong, Itsuki?"

I can't give a response.

"Being quiet now, are we? If you have nothing to say to us then you are coming with us, young man. One way or the other."

Yui stayed shut between all this. Her cheery eyes suddenly turned teary while she suppressed making any noise in the argument. Mom stood motionless as well, maintaining the quiet in the room. I, in turn, continued to give silence, unable to respond in even the slightest of nods. Instead, I stared at my father blankly. He stared back, however with a visibly slow change in expression: from anger to mortified. It took moments for him to understand what I want from that single gesture. What I want is...

Nothing.

Eventually, I lowered my own gaze, acting accordingly to the disrespect I brought to my parents. Thoughtlessly, I lift myself up and stood before the first flight of stairs. I part only the little words I can muster before going up to my bedroom.

"You can go."

The rest of the family stayed motionless and stared momentarily. They understood like they always did before. Therefore, in an awkward transition, they grabbed their things, pressed on, and left me behind.

I headed upstairs and into my room, dropping what I bought on the carpet after I do so. I lay onto my bed and stared blankly to the ceiling; the loathed noise creeping up into my ears to haunt my mind once more. In desperation, I tied to shrug it off and divert my attention onto the bedroom ceiling, to remember. The ceiling was not normal, it was my masterpiece, with colorful brush strokes painted about, though the smell of acrylic was now long gone. I used to paint that ceiling when I was a kid as my favorite pastime. I remember decorating it with the cold, night sky, in the middle of twilight with stars that twinkle in a recognizable beat; which then transitioned into a summer's morning on a field with reeds and trees dancing along with the wind in synchronization. All these were things I once saw beautiful; but now...

It all turned to gray, just like my whole world.