as johnny's papa (peter just so i don't write johnnys papa every time) unloaded the shopping, which consisted of cupcakes, sauces, water and sugar, he sighed and looked out the window. his stomach rumbled and he looked around, licking his lips. he scavenged through the cupboards, only to find spices and lollipops. he needed something with more than just sugar in a stick, like cheese or bread, or pizza. he swung open the fridge and rummaged through its contents. as he searched through the fridge drawers, he dropped a packet of apples on the floor. he flinched and paused. he waited to see if his son, wife or parents would wake up and come downstairs.
defeated, he started for the front room.
"Honey!" his wife shouted, a triangular slice of pizza flipping from her mouth.
"Darling, Darling?" Peter bellowed.
"Not this again," his wife, Penny, groaned. "Every conversation we have, you make it into that same f*****g song. just let me stress eat."
peter swiftly sat down beside her, stroking her back gently. "What's up?"
she flicked her hand, saying, "Nothing."
"Telling lies?"
she laughed, though she tried to hide it. "No papa"
"open your heart!" Peter pretended to dig for her heart, scratching her chest lightly.
"hahaha. okay stop," she chuckled. Penny reached for a glass of wine peter didn't see when he walked in, and took a long drink of it. "Johnny's... not normal," she started.
peter straightened his back and turned his body more toward her.
"He's always eating sugar and talks to his imaginary friends. also why's his head so big? he looks like the boss baby's intern." she took another gulp. "why do your parents have to stay here, pete? they are always watching, always shouting if you're ever caught eating and make me sing that stupid song. johnny's doing it too. i can't stand it, pete, i just can't."
peter stroked her hand. "i can't help it. they have to be here. every time i try to put them somewhere else, they come back. they won't leave."
Peters wife sighed and drank the last of the wine. she reached for another pizza slice, and peter did the same. as they began to eat in silence, the stairs creaked loudly. they paused and looked over their shoulders to look at the stairs.
"darlings darlings," peters dad sang croakily.
"yes papa?" peter sang, eyes glinting slightly.
"eating pizza?"
"no papa"
"telling lies?"
"no papa"
"open your mouth"
peter hesitated. "ha ha ha!"
peters dad came into the room and grabbed the pizza box. he walked outside and threw it in the nearest public bin, which was visible from the house. he walked back into the house bringing the cold, bitter air with him. he threw a supercilious grin at the pair and walked back up into his room, evident from the creaks of the floorboards.
penny rested her head on her husbands shoulder and dozed off quickly. peter stayed awake, skittishly texting his purple side chick.
