Maybe It Was A Spark.

Two Thousand and Fourteen. What a bittersweet year it was, the chilled nights we spent watching the sun leave the horizon to only be greeted by the symphony of stars. His arms wrapped around me, the warmth enclosing.
The warm glow of the fire painted his picturesque face;
Those green eyes,
The curl that swayed away from the wave of his fringe,
His freckles that were dappled on his soft cheeks.
If only it could stay this way forever.

̃

That day we had spent watching over the golden gate bridge,
Joining the daisies on the earth's floor.
Time disappeared, but at that point, I didn't take notice of anything, apart from him.
Again the embers of the setting sun illuminated his face,
Pure perfection.
A brisk breeze swept over the highest peak in view, down through the valley to touch my cheek and his, before departing back to where it originated in the clouded sky.

I whisper
I love you
But all I really mean is
I don't want you to leave

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There was that one morning,
Just one,
I had gone out, while he stayed at home.
The day I never returned.

̃

The cafe was pervaded,
The only free seat, across from me.
A sonorous voice broke the chaos of the bistro.
'Sorry to disturb you may sit here while I wait for my fruit salad'
Not a single one of those words were heard.
I was mesmerised.
The single earring he wore,
The aroma of sweet cigarettes, secured in his jacket.
Those umber eyes, like the last mouthful of cappuccino which remained in my cup.
He appeared unkempt, but yet, I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
Observing every peripheral feature, so that I could remember it forever.
A melody leaves my back pocket,
it was the man I had forgotten about,
at home just opening his eyes to see the new day.
Everything I remembered about him was completely erased.
For now, all that my mind may recognize is him, sitting in front of me.
All of the words I wanted to say to him were trapped like prisoners in my mind.
His head shifts, directing to me, he opens his mouth, as if to say something.
With a rush, the words are released from my mind into the warm dense air.
A silent pause.
Then a reply.
That was all I wanted.
People and hours passed as conversations were exchanged.
"How about we go back to my place in San Antonio?"
He asked, but I was only allured by the sound of his masculine voice.
We traipsed towards the red painted door, all that separated us and this moment from the outside world and what had seemed familiar.

̃
The dappled light from the trees above paved the footpath that we walked upon.
His car parked a block away from the corner coffee shop we had just left.
The shops we passed, the vinyls we browsed, all reminding me of the boy at home.
He didn't deserve this, how could I just flee, without even speaking to him.
My mind became a battlefield.
How could I be so cruel?
But I'd be a fool to have stuck around.
My thoughts interrupted by the spark of his lighter,
A realisation occurred,
That's what was missing,
A spark.
Until the past months, my head was in the clouds, moving from Perth to L.A everything seemed so unreal, an endless adventure.
But it wasn't L.A that made me feel like this, it was him.
The past few months I thought L.A had changed,
I noticed the crushed La Croix can in the gutter,
The horns, the sirens, the filth of this place.
But L.A had always been like this,
I was blinded,
Blinded by him.

̃

Momentarily I had noticed the sky painted with clouds,
Something I never noticed since I had moved,
I had always looked at the ground.
Maybe that's what I needed, someone new,
Someone who could show me life in another way, another direction.
Someone to take me back to the basics and the simple life, someone to make me feel at ease.
Could that someone be the boy right next to me,
The boy I just met a few hours ago.
That I was yet to find out.

̃
Life was good.
Sitting surrounded by silhouettes in the late hours of the night,
One hand occupied by a drink, the other wrapped in the warmth of his grip.
The inky sky spread above our heads,
The darkness,
The murmur of invalid voices echo,
Interrupted,
I recognized the faded music in the background,
as it made itself more apparent, it became to feel familiar,
It had been our song,
Everything turned to slow motion,
My mind began to recall the forgotten memories.
There were so many thoughts I wanted to share,
But I didn't call because it wouldn't be fair.

̃

I felt hellish for what I had done,
He never deserved this,
Maybe I should just apologize,
The simplest way to say that I'm sorry,
For all the mistakes I had made and what I had done.

̃

I'm sure we'll meet in the spring,
And catch up on everything.
I'll have a bitter coffee in hand,
to reflect all that I have done.
All the fun I've had, while he was left as one.
His green eyes will be stained with all the emotion.
The heartbreak,
The love.
I'll say I'm proud of all that he has done
He taught me the ropes,
and he taught me to love.

̃
But for now,
he's not the one,
And I got the good side of things.