Her Baby Girl ~Amanda Rollins~ One Shot

My Baby Girl

Amanda slowly opened the door to her apartment, absolutely exhausted after the long grueling day. Anna Mill was found not guilty for almost every charge, after slaughtering her entire family. Claiming she had to save them.

She paid the babysitter who told Amanda that Jesse was asleep, much to her dismay. She needed her daughter, her reason for breathing.

Amanda couldn't imagine hurting Jesse and she knew her Sargent felt the same way about her son Noah. How a mother could up and murder her entire family without remorse was beyond her.

She loved her baby girl more than anything.  Jesse had saved her from herself. She stopped at the fireplace, tracing her finger over a picture of Jesse when she was a baby. Yes, it was hard. Yes, she worried about her baby being in this cruel world, but she never considered killing her.

But she also had guilt. She had considered killing the child she held within her womb at this very moment and for some reason that got to her. She didn't know why. Her baby was safe and sound inside of her, kicking up a storm from feeling her mommas emotions.

Her cell phone rang, she quickly looked at the caller id. Seeing Carisi's smiling face light up the screen, she quickly pressed talk.

"Hey," she greeted, her voice clearly shaky.

"Hey Amanda, how are you holding up?"

"I'm ok, I think"

"Amanda, I know your not. I could see how this case was affecting you."

"It's just so hard carisi, I can't imagine hurting my children and here I was about to hurt one of them."

"Amanda, that's different."

"I guess, hey I gotta go, Sargent is calling."

"Ok, try and have a better night Amanda. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thank you, Dom." She hung up that phone call, placing the phone back up to her ear as she answered the next one.

"Hey Liv"

"Hey Amanda, how are you?"

"I don't know, just want to hold Jesse and never let her go."

"Same with Noah, I've just been staring at him."

"I just got home and then Carisi called, I'm debating on going and seeing Jesse. I need her but she shouldn't have to see me like this."

"Amanda, just hold your baby girl close. God knows I'm doing that tonight with Noah."

"It's funny how being mom's changes us huh?" Amanda chuckled.

"Yeah, it does, we aren't her Amanda. What Anna did, we will never understand. But we know we would never hurt our children."

"How does a mother do that? Just kill their own flesh and blood like they are nothing."

"I don't know Amanda, hey I'm going to get going. Need to be with Noah."

"Yeah same, I need to be with Jesse. Goodnight Liv."

"Goodnight Amanda and please take a few days off. I'm putting Finn in charge and then I'm going to take a few days. This case really got too us and we need to recoup."

"Yeah, thanks, sarge" Amanda whispered.

Amanda had tears streaming down her cheeks, completely shattered after the phone call, exhausted. She struggled to catch her breathe, starting to head towards her little girl's room. Jesse laid curled up under her princess blanket. Her long yellow hair splayed over the pillow.

Slowly Amanda walked over, brushing her finger lightly over the toddler's cheek.

"Momma?" Jesse's little voice spoke.

More tears streamed down Amanda's cheeks. "Yeah, baby, it's me. You wanna sleep with mommy tonight?"

She usually never offered this, usually, Jesse would come into her room much later in the night. But she didn't care, she needed the closeness of her daughter.

Slowly she picked her little girl up, heading to her room. She tucked Jesse in and climbed in, pulling her girl close to her, well as much as her stomach would allow. With one hand she stroked Jesse's cheek while her other was running soothing circled onto her huge belly.

"Mommy, you Ok?" Jesse's tiny little voice asked her.

Amanda sighed, trying not to cry anymore. "Yeah honey, I'm fine now." She whispered, placing a kiss on the toddler's forehead before shutting the light off. She pulled the blanket over them both, slowly succumbing to sleep, with both her babies safe and sound.

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Hey you guys, what did you think of the episode? I couldn't believe they bought the insanity. I'm glad Anna hung herself but couldn't she have done it before she murdered her family? I also don't like how the episode ended so I wrote what I think should have happened.

Also that scene with Amanda and liv shattered me. They were both taking this case extremely hard. Thank you for reading this one shot!