Glass Hearts (An Austin Carlile Story)

When You Can't Sleep at Night

My father died two days after I got back home. I felt like my world was crashing down around me all over again. I couldn't bring myself to fly back for the funeral. They put him next to my mother and that was too much to handle.

I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. I could hear the soft sound of Austin's breathing next to me. He would be leaving in just a few hours to go back on tour. I didn't think it would hurt so much for him to leave again.

I turned on my side and propped my head up on my elbow to stare at him. He looked so peaceful and absolutely beautiful. I ran my finger over the scar on his chest and smiled. I shouldn't be sad. I was the luckiest girl on the planet.

I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture of Austin sleeping before posting it to Instagram. @aumiautumn: How did I get so lucky? I'm going to miss you so much... @austincarlile

Austin's phone went off, causing him to stir. He opened his eyes and looked at me with a big smile. "Good morning beautiful."

"Not quite morning yet. The rest of the world is still sleeping. It's only three." I kissed his shoulder and curled up against him.

"Why are you up baby?" He asked rubbing my shoulder and laid a kiss on my head.

"Can't sleep. My mind won't shut off."

Austin held me tight. "I know it's hard baby. It's part of the job though."

"I know." I pulled myself up and kissed his nose. "I would never keep you from doing what you love but I can't help but miss the fuck out of you."

He slipped his hand in the back of my hair and pulled me into a passionate kiss. "I'm going to miss you so much baby but we will skype and text all the time. I'll even fly you out to a few places when we have a day off."

I finally drifted off only to be woken up by the sound of Austin's alarm. I groaned and clung to him. "Five more minutes," I mumbled into his neck.

"Baby I set it as late as possible. If you want to go to breakfast with us before we leave then we have to get up."

I pouted and looked up at him. "Fine."

I rolled myself off the bed and groaned as I stretched out my sleepiness. I hadn't slept much in weeks. It was really taking a toll on my body. I slipped a pair of yoga pants over my panties and threw an oversized Of Mice hoodie on. "I'm ready."

Austin chuckled and kissed my forehead. "You really need to get some sleep."

"Yeah yeah yeah." I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee and waited for Austin to come out. His bags were already loaded in my car so he just needed himself and his phone charger. "You ready," I asked looking up from my coffee.

"Yup," he said giving me a cheesy smile.

I nodded and got up taking my keys off the hook by the door and shoved my sunglasses onto my face. We headed downtown to Henry's. Austin wanted to go to the first place we ever had a 'date' if that even counts as a date. When we got there everyone had already been seated and were waiting for us. "It's about goddamn time," Alan blurted out. "I'm starving over here."

I laughed and ruffled his hair. "You could have ordered silly."

"That's just rude."

I took a seat next to Tino and Austin sat beside me. "I'm going to miss you guys so much."

Tino laid his head down on my shoulder. "Aww we're going to miss you too!!"

The waiter came up and took all of our orders and walked back to place the order. I put my head against Austin's shoulder and closed my eyes. "Are you okay baby?"