Walking down the hallways of my school was my least favorite thing to do. People would look at you and snicker, or look at you and whisper about you, or even try and point out something wrong with you. I myself have insecurities, plenty of them. And when the popular points them out, I try and bare it. I know I'm not perfect to you but at least have some common sense. I deal with depression, bipolar, anxiety, and PTSD. At home is just as worse, my father beats me. My mother died when I was only 6 at the time. My step mom moved out and took my brother, and not me, because She said that I was "old enough" to take care of myself. I'm only 16, I have a job, but my father uses my checks for beer, and smokes, but whenever I get paid I take half of my check and use it to buy me some food for myself, and I buy my own smokes, I use a fake ID, that only one of my trusted friends made for me, I maybe 16, but I look like I'm 19. And once I get my check I count out how much I got. I keep the half, and give my dad his half it's all good. He doesn't count quite well so he let's me count for him. But enough about my life, all I want is to just get my diploma and leave this fucking town. I'm a senior at (y/h/s/n), my grades are great that I get to graduate early, and also planning on going to college, and become a photographer, why? Well everywhere I see is the definition of beauty. Everywhere I see is beautiful, people, culture, plants, seasons, and much more. But the not so beautiful things are people that don't care of your well being. And that's where my insecurities come to play, "look it's her, the freak, hehehe", " Yo, she so ugly, I wouldn't bang her pffft", "omg, look how fat she is, she will never be like us", " Bro, look at her, look at her face, that body, that flat ass, that hair, that is the definition of ugly". It's hard to deal with this everyday. Everytime I hear what they say about me all I want to do is just cry, and cry, but I just bit my cheek and keep walking.
~
School was finally over, I walked to my car, got in it and just let the dam break. "What kind of life am I living in, I can't stand it anymore, mom.....mom I miss you, I wish you were still here." I held a picture of my mom in my hands, and put it near my chest, and cried. I looked at my sleeves, and rolled them up, I took a deep breath. "T-this is what happens when you want to f-feel something physical, n-not emotional." They were deep but not too deep.I sat at the parking lot for a good 20 minutes when I heard a knock on my car window, it was one of my best friends. I unlocked the door, and they climbed in, "hey Mike" "Sup (y/n)." He looked at me, my eyes were glossy and he saw the picture of my mom in my hands, "had another breakdown?" I nodded, and tears started to fall, "no no no no no, don't cry, I'll drive, want to get some ice cream? Ice cream makes everything better, how does that sound?" I looked at him, I looked at my stomach I was skinny, but felt fat, but I wanted some ice cream. "Yea, ok."
~We went to the nearest ice cream shop, I got (f/I/c), and Mike got mint chocolate chip." I was getting my wallet to pay, but Mike stopped me, "no, I'll pay for it, my treat" I nodded. We walked outside and ate our ice cream, and started talking about our day, I didn't say much, because my day was a looping hell hole, but Mike. His day was pretty good, he's in band, and they had a competition last weekend and they won overall, which was a big accomplishment for them. As Mike was still talking about his day, my phone started to ring, my heart dropped thinking it was my father, but when I looked at it, it was Samantha one of my other friends, I smiled and said "Hellur", she responded with a " Yo, where you guys asses at?" Mike took my phone and said, "hello this is your captain speaking, were at at the nearest ice cream shop at (s/n) (ok it means " Street name" Ok bye), and hopefully you get to your destination safely" Mike hangs up. "She's gonna kick your ass you know that right?" I said trying not to laugh, "yea I know, but hey she's gonna get ice cream afterwards." After the call not after 5 minutes Samantha comes rolling in, coming out of the car and playfully hitting Mike, " You son of a bitch, I'm gonna kill you." I start to laugh at the sight, "ok ok, I get it, now get some ice cream crazy."
~
After I left my friends I came home to the place I wouldn't want to see in years. I walk in and see my father sleeping on the recliner. He passed out from drinking again, well at least he's not hurting anyone he's fine. I tip toed to my room, and petted my dog. As I walked to my room, I saw something at the corner of my eye I rubbed my eyes to see what it was. But I was nothing, I shrugged it off, did my homework, took a shower, and went to bed, not knowing that my life would be changed forever.~hi guys. Sorry if ur triggered in any part if this story. Anyone that's maybe going through this, or has been through this. If you don't want to read anymore then that's ok, I understand, but I love you guys to much~
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Insecurities-Eyeless Jack x Reader
FanfictionThis story may hit close to home to maybe some people who read this. But I hope you guys enjoy.