About Me (Please Don't Read Its Embarrassing)

Whoops

I'm a drug dealer now or at least attempting it. I buy weed, I smoke weed, and I sell weed. I'm somewhat of a pothead. I smoke weed five days a week, roughly. I would say I smoke three grams in one sitting. That's kind of a lot. A quarter is seven grams. Three and a half grams is an eighth. I smoke less than three grams in a sitting. At the most two grams. 

Boring. I literally put my thoughts on paper. Well, not literally. 

I smoke blunts. That's the way to roll. Don't roll it, pack it. Its more weed and it last longer.

I don't know anything about weed. I just know that I like to get high and that it makes my life miserable.

Talking. I like talking. My body resist being quiet, but my mind is stronger than my body. My mind is twisted. It views the world differently than how it should be percieved. The world is full of life. Be happy and rejoice in it. My mind pulls me into lies. It destroys who I am. The fear it has over me is unbearable, but my body fights it. It fights to be what the world intended it to be. 

So lame. I try to be meaningful, but nothing real comes out. I'm lame.

Why do I do this? I want attention, but I refuse it? Do I have two people in my brain? Is that possible? Maybe I'm just a liar? No, I do want attention? But why? Because I have low self esteem? No, you have to tell the truth? I'm desperate for attention because I want to be noticed? I want someone to like me? I want people to like me? I want to be the center of attention? I want to dominate over them all? So then what is stopping us? Our fear?

So fucking lame.