Personal Soldier (Nathan Sykes Fanfic)

Personal Soldier (Nathan Sykes Fanfic) - Ch.6

I woke up early on Saturday morning to the loud ringing of my phone on my bedside table. I answered without bothering to check who it was as my eyes tried to adjust to the light of the room. “Hello” I croaked out. “Heya Kit-Kat-” I heard Jay's voice and on the other end. “Sorry for waking ya!” “Ugh ... it's fine just stop ... talking so loud” I heard him laugh. “Ahh sorry ... but I've kinda decided to come round yours later with Seev, right? We'll be round after work, so like 5ish ... Heard you might have some new leads eh?” “Oh well sure Jay you can just invite yourself round anytime like” I replied sarcastically “And what you couldn't wait till next week when I can go back to the agency no?” “What and miss out on seeing me best mate, never! Plus with you stuck with Nathan, thought I might ... check up ... see you haven't killed him or nothing” he chuckled. “Hilarious, Jay ... truly-” I sighed. “Righto see you later so..” “Bye Bye” and he hung up. I placed my phone back down on the side and rubbed my face with my hands. After deciding to finally get up and leave the warm haven that was my bed, I jumped up and stretched, heading out the door and strolling downstairs.

It was about 10 in the morning. Still too early for no work. I flicked the kettle on and bounded into the living room, plopping down on the sofa. I'd spent quite some time here last night trying to find anykind of record of a Derek Peterson. We had access to Nathan's fathers accounts, which had records of employees, old and new and such, but nothing. Of course with me ending up at another dead end, I began getting frustrated and ended up snapping at Nath telling him to “Just fuck off”. He probably thinks I go through some serious moodswings sometimes. I was holding a somewhat civil conversation with him, then boom! I go off my head and yell at him. I should work on my stress levels. Seriously. I heard the kettle finish boiling in the kitchen and picked myself of the seat to make a cuppa.

On the counter though I noticed a mug already placed down, that I hadn't noticed before, with a teabag in it. Nathan had clearly already been up and went to make tea, but .. why leave it? I went towards the staircase and made my way slowly upstairs, stopping outside Nathan's door. I pressed my ear up against it but didn't hear anything. I pushed down on the handle slowly and pushed, hoping that I wouldn't wake him if he'd gone back to sleep. But as I looked around the door i noticed, an empty bed, an empty room. Shit. I checked the bathroom aswell, nope. He wasn't here. What the hell is he thinking?? I raced into my room, throwning on any clothes I could find and my runners. I ran back down to the front door taking two steps at a time. Once I got outside I realised, where to look? I was starting to let worry seep into me and I began fearing the worse. My second day with the vic and I've .... well I've lost him. He's probably been found and a bullet put through his head by now ... no, no, stop. Protectors, they don't worry. I don't worry.

“Sophia ..... Sophia, dear!!” I heard my name being called from my right. It was Collins. “How are you this morn-” “Mrs. Collins, please tell me, did you see that boy I was with yesterday leaving the house today??” I shouted at her, hoping it would somehow help her answer. She seemed taken aback by my little outburst but she answered anyway, not asking any questions. “Oh ... um .. yes I did you know. Saw him go just down the road towards the crossroads. Not to long ago infact. Could still catch him if-” I rushed to unlock my car and hop into the driver's seat. Not even letting her finish. I raced down the street, probably not a good idea to speed when I was like this. I didn't care. I don't know how many things were running through my head. I felt like screaming, I wanted to punch someone, I even thought I could have cried, though I haven't cried in years. Most of all I felt anger. I think it was the fact that Nathan was such an idiot, leaving the house? What was he thinking? ... Maybe I was angry at myself ... I knew if something bad DID happen. I'd blame myself. I always did this with any of my cases. The vics could do something as harmless as .. cross the road without me and I couldn't cope. No one ever knew I reacted like this though. No one at PROTEGO. I was as solid as a rock with my emotions to them. By myself though, I'd get worked up so easily, letting all the bad thoughts I could have, burrow themselves into my brain. But once I became part of the agency, I knew I had to hide that fragile little girl I was. I forced myself to toughen up. And sure, it worked, sometimes ...

As I neared the crossroads I snapped out of my little daydream as I saw a figure walking, head down, with a cap covering over their head. I slowed down and pulled up onto the path in front of them. He looked up and once he saw it was me he smiled. It was Nathan. .... Why was he so happy? The bastard. Nearly caused me to have a breakdown. I got out of the car and walked up to him feeling the anger bubbling inside me. “GET IN THE CAR, NOW” I shouted. If anyone was around, their attention was definitely on us right now. The smile fell from his face and was replaced with confusion. Had he honestly no idea what he'd done. What he felt like going for a walk or something? Yeah great plan if he's trying to get murdered. I couldn't even say anymore to him after that. I knew it would just be me yelling at him. I jumped back into the car, him in the passenger seat, and drove back to the house.

* * * * * *

“Okay, did I do something horribly wrong or something?” Nathan was the first to speak the second we got through the front door. “You're ... you are kidding right? How do you NOT understand what you did Nathan? Are you truly that much of an idiot really?” My voice rising the more I spoke. “Well maybe I am an idiot cause I go to buy some milk, you drive after me and start screaming at me in the middle of the street, and I've done NOTHING” He yelled. “Nathan, you are in protection right now. You do not just go strolling around the street like that. If I'm not with you, you do not go outside. I was thinking the next time I saw you would be when you were being lowered into the ground in a box. I honestly can't even begin to understand how you aren't the least bit worried about you're safety. Every single person that's in our care can't even go to stand at the window their so scared and here you are prancing about like you're on holiday” I was screaming louder at Nathan right now than I have before and there wasn't a doubt that we could be heard outside the house. I didn't care right now.

I was pacing back and forth in the hallway, having this yelling match with Nathan about something I so hoped he finally understood. “Katrina, I AM NOT A CHILD. I'm 19 years old, right? I don't need some girl, who think she rules everything in my life taking care of me like I'm 5. I'm not.” Nathan's voice reached a new high. I began backing away, truth be told, I was a little scared at the anger in his face. “I can go wherever I want, whenever I want, because, I'm not scared of what's out there. I've thought about it ever since that day you drove me here. I have NOTHING. There is no family, no friends. I have not one thing that I have to live for-” He was towering over me as I stood backed against a wall. Barely a few inches between us as he continued. “I could go out there this minute and find the people who are after me and let them have me. No one would care. So I don't even see the point to have you, my 'Protector' .... I'm a lost cause” I swear I could see his eyes glaze over before he shut them and turned away from me. “Don't worry about me Kat .... please” And with that he ran up the stairs and banged his bedroom door closed.

I sank to the floor against the wall, unsure of how to take in everything that happened. I saw an anger, a sadness, I've never even witness in the eyes of murderers. He scared me .... Nothing ever scared me but he did. And the words he spoke broke me to pieces. He'd given up on everything. On life. I saw nothing of that fun yet annoying boy I met yesterday in his eyes. There was nothing but a depression. How had he changed so suddenly? But as I think about it, I begin to hurt as I realise. I may have done this to him ...