Personal Soldier (Nathan Sykes Fanfic)

Personal Soldier (Nathan Sykes Fanfic) - Ch.8

My eyes fluttered open, as light from the sun outside shone through the window in my room. I still felt tired, like I hadn't slep a wink. I checked the time on my phone – 12:30, I'd actually been asleep for about twelve hours straight. I lifted myself from the warm covers and stretched my arms out. I pulled on a cardigan before reaching for the door handle, when everything came flooding back from last night, Jay and Seev's advice, me talking to Nath, the kiss. I sighed and walked out onto the landing. Nathan's door was opened, he was clearly downstairs. I really wished he had picked today to stay in his room and not emerge, but obviously I'm not that lucky. C'mon, just face it. Tell him the truth, it shouldn't have happened, just put it out there. God why am I freaking out about something like this? I've been within an inch of death before and I never batted an eyelid. Why am I so difficult?

I cleared my head and started to slowly descend the stairs. I could see Nathan sitting on one of the high stools in the kitchen, his back to me. I walked into the room, not making a sound, he didn't even see me until I went past him to get to the kettle. He shot up almost instantaneously from his seat. “Katrina, I've been waiting for you to get up. I'm so so sorry about yesterday, really I-” I just turned to look at him and he stopped. I shook my head “Nath I think it's best we forget about it, It shouldn't have happened and it wouldn't have if I wasn't being so ...” I searched for the right word. “..soppy. And it lasted literally like a second, don't even think of it like a kiss” I smiled weakly at him and was surprised when he tore his gaze from me and took his place back on the stool. Why'd he look so sad? I sighed. “But Nath I meant what I said ... I care. So don't give up okay?” I smiled and he simply looked up and nodded lightly, his lips pulling up into a tiny smile for just a moment.

I'm not good with emotions, so I wasn't gonna push why he was so upset. I turned back to making my tea and heard him leave his chair, sigh and stroll into living room.

The ringing of my phone startled me and I jumped, but ran to grab it. It was Jay. “Allo allo, Bird! What's up?” “Kit-Kat I'd love to do the whole chit-chat thing, but Greg told me to call you. We've found Peterson and we got him being tracked now.” “Oh god Jay, that's- ugh that's great.... I'm gonna come in as soon as I can” I was about to throw my phone down and end the call. “No, no Kat, Greg said you should stay home. You'll be in on wednesday anyway, don't bother. You try and get some more from Nath if you can, you'd only be hanging around here.” I sighed, frustrated. “Ahh but Jaayyyy” I whined. “Can't I do the questioning? I feel like I'm not doing anything productive here.” “Ehh, Kit-Kat? Do you NOT remember the last case you had? You were questioning one minute,next you had the guy in a head-lock” He chuckled lightly “And not doing anything productive, you're kidding right? You're a Protector, you're doing your job right now ... you know protecting.” he laughed.

“Oh speaking of, how's Nath doing?” I took a deep breath and let it out. “Well, Bird he's better ... I guess, He's out of his room today. I did talk to him though and I convinced him that he has people that care and not to give up. But ...” I trailed off. Jay didn't say anything for a few seconds. “What did you do Kit-Kat” He tried to sound stern, but ended up chuckling. “What .. nothing, no, he's just, we .... no, he's a little sad this morning. I don't want him to have another little breakdown and lock himself away again.” “Kat, I think the apocylpse is coming .... you ... like someone ..... what in the ...” He started laughing and I rolled my eyes, forgetting he couldn't see. “Good lord Jay ..” I huffed. “Go back to work you knob, leave me alone you ..” I hung up the call and left my phone on the counter.

* * * * * *

I found myself once again, surrounded by papers on the floor, with huge folders filling my bed, for this time I was sat in my bedroom. Nathan seemed to have taken up the living room today. He didn't move as far as I know, today, so I left him and retreated upstairs. I'm going to avoid him in a mood .... cause that'll just put me in a mood.

I was nearing about 5 in the evening by now. After the questioning today in the agency, Jay emailed me his profile and case notes on Peterson. To say this dude was a shady character, would be an understatement. He didn't say much in the questioning. Understandable. But it was a lot easier to find info when we knew little things like his age, address and we knew what he looked like now. Looking at the picture of him that was attached to his profile, I couldn't help but get creeped out. His long brown hair, his beard and those grey, lifeless eyes that stared at you, it was like he could come out and attack you any second. Man, I'd hate to think what he was like in person. I shuddered unbeknownst to myself.

I heard a light pattering of footsteps coming up the stairs. The light from the landing that was streaming in from underneath the door, disappeared. Nathan was clearly stood outside. I waited a few seconds and didn't hear anything until I could hear his footsteps on the landing as he walked away. I jumped up from my place and hopped over the crap on the floor and flund the door wide. Nathan turned from his own bedroom door with widened eyes. “You okay? .... I know you were standing outside the door” I gave a little smiled, to which he didn't return. He didn't look happy at all, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes were sad.

He stepped closer a little before speaking. “You didn't feel ... anything ... did you?” he was speaking just above a whisper. “You wha?” I was confused by what he was asking me. I had an idea at the back of my head about what he could be talking about .... I just hoped I was wrong. He looked up from the ground and into my eyes. “You know Kat .... I'm talking about the kiss .... or the 'not even a kiss' as you wanted to refer to it as ...” He scoffed “You didn't feel even a little bit, no?” “Look Nathan-” “No you look, Kat. I know that you're hiding feelings for me, even if they're absolutely tiny ... there's something, and I'm gonna put it out there, cause I'm not afraid to .... I like you Kat, I like you way more than I should like soemone I met, what? 2 days ago? And-” “NATHAN-” I yelled. Here we go, here comes the shouting again. “You don't like me okay, I don't like you, right? You are being really emotional after all the things that happened lately ... and I'm sorry your life is going this way ... but listen to yourself, you're being ridiculous. And you need to stop now ... I'll just get in trouble cause of you being, STUPID” I turned back into my room, hoping he'd leave it and realise what I said was true ... I should stop thinking that would happen ... no one ever leaves it ...

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me from the doorway, closer towards him. “Kat ... stop it” He whispered lightly, and once again I stared at his eyes as I watched him lean closer to me, a tiny space between us. Déjá vu or what? But this time it wouldn't end the same. I slipped my right leg behind his and pulled forward, pushing him back by the shoulders. I tripped him over and he landed flat on the ground, looking more than shocked. I went down on my knees and leaned close to him. “I told you ... to forget. So forget .... Stop being an idiot Nathan” I quickly lifted from the ground and walked back into my room, catching a glimpse of Nathan beginning to lift from the ground as I shut the door and locked it.

My nights have to stop ending like this ... I didn't want to hurt Nathan, but I couldn't help it. As I've found, it's not exactly easy to get things in his head. I sunk down on the floor against the door. I stared at the ceiling, thinking. Thinking about why things have to be so difficult ... why I couldn't just avoid Nathan, work on the case and treat him as any other vic ... I already knew the answer to that though ... He wasn't like any other vic. I tried so hard to push anything about Nathan from my head, I mean like he said, we met 2 days ago, and 2 days ago ... I hated him. But I don't even know anymore, I can't think straight when it comes to him ... I guess that kinda does mean I don't hate him though .... But do I like him, like he likes me? ..... No, He can't ... he's been through a lot ... too much ....... Ugh .... I need sleep. I also have to figure out what to say the Nathan .... sleep can only hide me for so long .....