CHAPTER 1 ---- TANYAS POV
They told me it would get better. My mum constantly told me everything would be okay, I got told that it would get better so much, that I started to believe it myself. How could I have been so blind? How could everyone else be so blind as to what was going on inside my head? Maybe them being blind was for the best. Who would want to see what is going through my head? How could a mother cope with her daughter feeling this way about herself? What would Jim think?
Actually. I know what Jim would think and how he would react. I know that he would be the most understanding and caring person in the world at that moment. But how can I put him through this? He is my only source of happiness at the moment, my beautiful fiancee Jim. I want to be able to make it to the day where I will be pronounced as Tanya Chapman, but I don't know if I can do this for much longer. I don't know how much longer I can cling on. How much longer I can carry on pretending to be someone I'm not.
Jim can't find out. He would worry, and when I mean worry, I seriously mean it. He would try to understand, but he couldn't. Nobody could. Even I don't completely understand. He would be a wreck. This sounds so big headed, saying that I would be enough to make him a wreck, but I know Jim. Of course I know him, I know him inside and out, like the back of my hand, and he thinks that he knows me. But he doesn't, nobody does.
