~ Is life simply an illusion? Is 'happiness' just a saying to express society's definition of the word 'happy'? Is death our source of freedom? Is death actually life? ~
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This was me. Yesterday, November 7th , 2018. I've lost all effort to smile in images.. Why walk around showing false emotion. I may walk around and seem like everything is okay when it's not. Yet, people wonder what goes on in my head, why I feel the way that I do.
Soul : I. Want. To. Be. Free. In our head, we see a variety of things. We visualize different ways of us dying.. suicide, overdose, gunshot, murder. All seem good. Death is freedom. Life.. life is the real trap. Call us crazy, I know we're crazy. Everyday I rise from my rest, thinking of how much we don't need this. Yet, I stay. The humans in this world wouldn't understand Stephon's reason for leaving. Most wouldn't care. Most would think it was dumb to just..kill ourselves. My dreams are all visions.. for our future. Most involve death for Stephon and I.. Stephon is suffering. I am suffering. Aren't we all suffering in some way? We just want freedom. Freedom...
Freedom, that word is just an expression. We all would never truthfully have freedom. When colored got their freedom, there is still hate til this day. Are they truthfully free? Lgbtq+ community gets their freedom to marry, but is there truthfully freedom? Are we all safe in this life? Life is a test. It kills you as you age. Death, death is freedom from life. You age to however old you want to be, your soul is freespirited and can roam. You can be wherever you want. This freedom thing.. It's stupid. Useless. Fuck that word. Until I get some type of freedom, fuck it, fuck 'life', fuck smiles, and FUCKKKKKK HAPPINESS!!!
