SHE CALLED DEATH DAD

Prologue

She looked crazy.

She ran barefoot, her feet hitting snow and concrete, her skin bared to the elements, except for a flimsy nightdress, she wore nothing else. She paused on the sidewalk, her breath forming clouds and people stopped to stare at her strangely.

Her arms were covered from biceps to wrists with slashes and her eyes darted back and forth like a crazy person, her eyes red rimmed from crying all night. She had never felt saner in her life.

Her heart pounded loudly in her ears and her throat felt hoarse from screaming and her fingers and toes were beginning to feel a bit numb from the cold and goosebumps covered her arms and legs.

I reached out to stop her but my arms passed through her, I could smell it now, death. She was going to kill herself.

I felt drunk with emotions that weren't mine, my throat closed up and my hands shook, it was like I was a part of her and had lived with her all her life. I saw every memory, felt every emotion, tasted everything she had ever tasted and saw life though her eyes.

I saw the first thing she saw, sterile white walls and a smiling midwife, I watched as she grew up, her eyes dimming and her smile becoming more rare. I tasted her jealousy, sharp and bitter on my tongue, as she watched her baby sister grow up, watched her win awards and get love and affection from her parents. I saw her falling inlove for the first time, a sweet boy next door with blonde hair and heterochromia, one eye brown and the other green, her first kiss and the first time they made love, at the back of his hand me down toyota.

I watched as she watched that boy marry her younger sister from the back of the church, her stomach swelling with child, I watched her as she screamed and wailed, blood running down her legs, her only reason for living dead.

I watched as she struggled with a heroine addiction and let herself fall for a junkie, I watched her struggle to get clean and her struggle through multiple dead end jobs. I watched her boyfriend and his friends take turns on her drugged barely conscious body. I watched as she sat at the corner of the shower stall, her body red from scrubbing and her throat hoarse from screaming. I watched her sink into a deep depression, it started from a single cut and continued until it was a daily routine. She barely ate now, her once slender and fit body becoming nothing but bones and loose skin. I gasped as she leapt in front of the moving bus, she flew across the street, her head hitting the concrete with a sickening crack. I heard gasps as blood spread around her head like a halo, her beautiful pale blue eyes didn't close and her cracked lips parted as if in a sigh.

I fell to the ground, my lips opened in a silent scream, I willed her body to move, her heart to beat but I knew she was already dead. I tasted it, I smelt it and my body moved as though on automatic settings, I sat on my calves and put my hands on her chest, her essence was restless and writhing, I tasted fear and anger and pain. I took those emotions, containing them within my chest and breathed it out, shadows moved around me as though attracted to the negative energy and soon they were gone again.

Her essence was pure and peaceful, as the day she came into this world and I released it so she could finally rest. Suddenly I was falling, my arms flailing and my heart racing, I closed my eyes and woke up with a silent scream.

My body refused to move, my muscles taut and my face covered in sweat, I lay panting as my eyes focused on the ceiling, I counted to 50 and felt my muscles slowly relax.

I looked at the alarm clock beside my bed, it was almost 8:30, I jumped out of the bed and raced for the bathroom. I felt the cold water loosen my muscles till they felt rubbery and i slumped against the bathroom wall.

I dried up and threw on some ripped jeans and a black band tee-shirt, I loosened the towel on my hair so i could comb it when i saw it, I ran to the mirror to look at it and I forze in shock as i stared at my pupils.

They were completely white and so was my hair.