"Let go.why do you cling to pain ??
There is nothing you can do about the wrong yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on the everything which keeps you
from hope and love??"
It was 2013 december, Christmas eve. That time of the year when it's shriving cold in Delhi(India) and you can feel the love in the air.people looking for new beginnings and getting ready to celebrate New Year. It's kind of a very happy feeling and you could see celebration and decorations at each corner, there is something very beautiful about Delhi winters and specially in December.
She already told me over the phone that she won't be able to carry on this relationship anymore.....so it would be better if we do this mutually, Meet for the last time and end it on a happy note. I travelled to Delhi from my college which was 1700KMs away to meet her for the last time. It was the toughest journey of my life because I knew what I've lost. We were in relationship since 4years when my insecurities got better of me and I ruined this beautiful relationship.
We met at south ex, The same place where we met for the first time 4years back. I reached little early and was waiting for her. I saw her coming towards me wearing the same dress I gifted her on valentines.
She was looking gorgeous as always and I was on the verge of breaking down in tears. She came up to me and hugged me really tight and then we proceeded to walk further without speaking anything. I guess we were both tired of constantly fighting with each other over the phone since last few months(mostly we being insecure) and it just felt good to see each other and able to just hold hands
She said she wants to buy something and we entered a Levi's showroom.she picked up a black jacket for me and asked me to try.I was little astounded,I wanted to ask Her why is she doing this now!? Why is she giving me things that I will remind me of her?? Why can't she just ask me to fuck off for the times I was an asshole to her? But she didn't let me speak and just asked me to take that jacket. I almost had tears in my eyes and I just wanted to hug her tight and cry my heart out and ask for forgiveness but I knew the damage has been done and it's too late to ask for forgiveness. She told me clearly that she doesn't love me anymore.
We went on the dinner. I didn't want to eat anything since I had a lump in my throat but she insisted and we ate. After the dinner she said, she wants to spend the night with me.I felt like asking her to leave immediately and stop doing this but I knew she will Leave now, I'll never see her again . we went to Nizamuddin comesun and sat there all night till morning 5'o clock. We didn't talk much just held each other's hand and she took a nap on my shoulder for few minutes.
We took an auto to her place and there was dense fog everywhere. While in the auto she put her tiny hands in my jacket and asked me to take care of my dad and my younger brother. She reminded me of my dreams that I wanted to achieve and asked me to work hard for them. We got out of the auto and she said she doesn't want to go home yet. She said she want to have tea from the tea vendor on the side of the road . I bought her a cup and she made me drink it saying she only wanted to warm her hands and I should drink it since it's very cold. I took few sips and left the rest.
My heart was beating uncontrollably fast and my body was freezing. I couldn't take it anymore and I broke down right in front of her and collapsed into her arms. I apologized profusely and begged her for a chance but she was unmoved and rightly so,I didn't deserve a chance. I then got angry and asked her ,"why did she do all this for me,if she didn't love me" and she said- "IstoppedlovingyoubutIneverstoppedcaringforyou"
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I had nothing to say and I could see her disappearing into the dense fog never to see her again . Decemberhasneverbeenthesameagain.....
