Dear you, love me

Thease words are my passion and this is my story

Intro

Everyone asks me why i did it. I guess i thought that when life was over that was it. No more pain, no more tears, just, silence. No emotions no sound, just nothing, the end. If only things were  that simple...

Chapter 1

It was your average party bright flashing lights music so loud its leaves a ringing in your ears. The hall so overcrowded that you can barely move  but instead have to take small shuffled steps that are extremely difficult  in the crazily high stilettos that my friend suggested i should wear.  Hot sweaty bodies squeezed into tight mini dresses grinding up against each other. Trying to get a bit of something. Just the usual romances and breakups with the occasional fight that this time happened to be between my best friend Alice and her  'boyfriend' Brandon .  Overall the party was dead. 

At the point where i was actually enjoying myself by seeing how many onion rings i can stuff into my mouth at one time,  (So far its even) when Alice grabbed my greasy hand and drags me  through the thong of sweaty people pulls a me up steps and lead me out the door of the hall.  The cold air hit me full on in the face  like a slap and I stumbled blindly  backwards into Alice's folded arms.  " promised you wouldn't drink" Alice said shrugging me off her.  "but i didn't" i  exclaimed the anger the  rising anger in my voice making my words mumbled. " i'm just cold that's all. So what's wrong?" she didn't answer instead she grabbed my arm and started running towards the direction of her dads  car a sleek black  4 by 4 convertible. She opened the door and we stepped in. As we pulled away from the party  i saw Brandon run out with something in his hand it glinted it the shaft of moonlight. I looked over at Alice to see if she had seen it too her face was pale and tear ran down her cheek. She looked away but it was too late i had seen all that i needed. 

There was an awkward silence that lasted the whole journey and  only broken was only broken by Alice's  dads usual deep  cough. The music still ringing in my ears was bringing on an awful headache that might even have been a migraine. But I didn't have any painkillers with me so there was nothing I could do. It was dark,  i was tired and all i really wanted to do was go home to my nice warm bed my nice warm house.  I looked over at Alice whose curled blonde hair covered her face.  I assumed she was sleeping by rhythmic pattern of her deep breathing. I rested my head against window  but sleep will not come and  engulf me  in its welcoming arms.  Instead i devise a pastime,  a new game,   counting the street lights that glow like stars against the darkness of the night.

I must have accidentally dozed off because the next thing i know Alice tapping my shoulder and telling me to 'wake up'  i sit and look around me it's the entrance to. my road i see a police man standing by the side of his car and parked next to us is an ambulance immediately i know something is wrong. 

I stepped out of the car unsteady on my feet my ankles buckling under the weight of my heavy heart. I could see the black and yellow police tape drawn across the entrance to my road. The scene was like one out of a movie. You could feel the tension in the air so strong that you could reach out and touch it.

Then I saw it I walked straight through the tape oblivious to its existence and the crowd of speechless onlookers. I heard a police man reach out his hand to stop me but I brushed him aside "miss I'm sorry but I can let u go there its all evidence" then i heard another voice "it's her house" all of a sudden the policeman's face clouded with a new emotion sympathy.  "I'm sorry go on darling"  I walked slowly my heels kicking up a slow beat. Time seemed to slow right down making every breath an effort my heart rate had doubled and my drumming in my ears.

Then I stopped. I turned. I stood rooted to the spot the last breathe I had taken caught in my thought. I stared blankly ahead not seeing not believing,  my face an iron mask.