It's not that
I don't eat because I want to be skinny.
It's not that
I throw up my food so I don't gain weight.
It's not that
there's something wrong with me.
It's only that
I like the feeling of emptiness.
It's only that
I like the control it gives me.
It's only that
I crave the power of self-discipline.
It's not that
I can't eat, if I didn't want to.
It's not that
I'll refuse any offered food.
It's not that
the thought of food makes me sick.
It's only that
I don't want to eat.
It's only that
there's no point in sustaining my life.
It's only that
I'm old enough to make my own decisions.
It's not that
I drink too much coffee.
It's not that
I'm destroying myself.
It's not that
I want to be unhealthy.
It's only that
I'm filled with contradictions.
It's only that
my brain tells me to starve and eat.
It's only that
I'm more afraid of myself than death.
