Thoughts.

Him

Him.

Him who make me happy.

Him who completes my day.

Him who comforts me.

Him. Him. Him.

He lives in me.

Inside my head.

In my heart.

In my system.

No one knows him but me.

No one sees him.

No one can ever talk to him the way i did.

It's just me.

Everything about him came from me.

I made him.

I love him.

And I want to stop.

Stop this craziness.

Stop this addiction towards him.

Who doesn't even know me.

I wanted to stop.

But I can't.

I tried.

It's so hard.

I am missing him everytime.

And it's crazy.

Because I am missing someone

Who does not even exist.

I wish he was real.

I wish.

I want to meet him.

I want to see him.

I want to be with him.

I'm in need of his cuddles.

His kisses.

His comfort.

His...

Presence.

I need him to come to life.

Because if not.

I think, I can never survive.

Survive this craziness i caused myself.

Survive in the sadness i made because I kept on missing him.

Survive in the life that I live with him inside my head.

I don't want to be drown in my own thoughts if it's just him who doesn't exist.

I don't want to keep on swimming in my ocean of thoughts filled of his presence.

Keep on finding him.

Wondering...

Is he even existing.

Seeking for answers that only myself can provide.

Looking for proofs that I have to keep finding for myself.

I want to get over him.

I want to stop chasing for him.

Because chasing him is chasing a wind.

Yes, there is a possibility that he exist.

But I never seen him.

And he doesn't...

Know me.

And the wind is even better.

Because I get to feel the wind whenever it passes.

While him??

I'm not even sure if he exist.

And that hurts.

Ouch.